Everything these guys played was incredible (including Edelweiss from The Sound of Music. Go figure). If they’re nearby, take the time to see them. You won’t be sorry.

Back to the matter at hand. An incredible crowd this evening at the Crabitorium. People lined up shortly after 7:00 to get their best shot at a winning Crab. Several new Teams in the house tonite. Team Susan and Team Dunham are joined by the Michigan Sixty-Niners (guess where they’re from) to make their maiden attempt at Crab racing. Lots of Regulars in the House as well most of the League leading Teams are here to scramble for Points in their pursuit of a Championship. The First Place Sapphire Racing League has a large Krewe as do The Crustacean Sensations, Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing, Team Hinkey (three’s big for them), and The Screamin’ Seamen. Rochelle and a few more Indies make it a Natural Sellout. The lovely Steve Schrader is our Host this evening and the equally lovely Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! I’m afraid my tights keep riding up, but we’ll plow ahead anyway, because it’s time for-

Superhero Crab Racing

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Armour Potted Meat Trivia:
1) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
2) Andromeda
3) Gerald Ford
4) Mount McKinley (if McKinley says it’s okay)
5) Lee Harvey Oswald

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Tom

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #48 Aflac- Michigan 69ers (M69)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
3) Winner- #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #90 Sparky- Rochelle
5) Winner- #35 Hot Carl- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
6) Winner- #84 Don’t Trust A Ho, Cuz The Ho Don’t Trust U- SRL
7) Winner- #6 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
8) Winner- #75 Caligula- SRL

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #44 Standing Hampton- M69

Halftime Entries:
Not tonite Chief.

10) Winner- #35 Doctor Claw- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
11) Winner- #4 Old Strippers Never Die, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen (SS)

The Wave

12) Winner- #65 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH
13) Winner- #24 Go Pee- Team Susan (TS)
14) Winner- #0 May I C U P- TS
15) Winner- #38 Sparta- TH
16) Winner- #30 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- SS

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #44 Standing Hampton- Michigan 69ers
2) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
3) Winner- #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #90 Sparky- Rochelle

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #90 Sparky- Rochelle
Third Place- A High Quality Tee-Shirt- #44 Standing Hampton- Michigan 69ers
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (The Next Best Thing To Free) – #71 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
First Place- $50 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (Likewise) – Super Folkie, The House Crab

Time:
I think it was Plus Eight

Well, that was exciting, wasn’t it. The crowd did a fine job with an a cappella Finals as we runned into some technical difficulties with our high dollar sound system. Rochelle gets Fourth as tonite’s only Indie winner. The M69 Krewe grabs Third and The Sapphire Racing League adds some points to their lead with a Second Place finish. Super Folkie takes the $50 First Place money for himself.

But, he will bring it back on the 14th, when First Place will be worth $80 in Folkie’s Krab Kash. I know I’ll be there! Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.

Ciao for nao
j

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