Superhero Crab Racing

Monday it is.

In the early seventies, a very wise black man looked around and despaired at the social strife. He looked to Washington, and was stricken by the disingenuousness of it’s elected leaders. He was dismayed. But he was moved as well. And he looked deep inside of himself. And the strength he found inside, lifted him, lifted his spirits, and caused him to cry out, in one of the most incredibly soulful falsettos ever heard- “What’s goin’ on?”

I’ll apologize in advance. Okay, I apologize for the first paragraph too. Just haven’t been inspired the past few days to do the CrabLine. So if it’s crappy, eh, double yer money back. One thing I know for certain, this is going to be a lot tougher tonite than it would have been last Thursday or Friday.

Oh yeah, speaking of Friday, the Community School for the Arts, (endorsed by Billy Bob Thornton and Jim Caviezal) annual Go Arts! Go Karts! fundraiser at the Marion Recreation Center Down by the river on SR 18. They had fourteen heats of six or seven go karts racing twenty laps a heat. Each kart had a corporate sponsor and that company got to pick their driver. Well, Ross had a kart and thru a series of unfortunate events, I ended up being the driver. It also just so happened that I found out I was the driver, but it was too late to practice. The last time I drove a go-kart, Marvin Gaye released “What’s Goin’ On”. So, I spent the first five or six laps figuring out where to drive, and by that time I had been lapped. I really didn’t do that bad from that point on, and as soon as I figured out my left foot was laying on the brake pedal, I was able to run pretty consistent with the leader, albeit a lap and a half back. I recommend it highly. There’s a cool slideshow here.

Lori behind the bar. Nelia in the kitchen. Rhonda on the floor. Chainsaw in a rare summer appearance. Superhero theme. Steve Schrader’s Birthday. Sellout. Cake. I think that about sums it up, except-

PreRace:

Trivia Answers
1) Morganstern
2) Professor Plum
3)
El Dorado
4) Callahan
5) Japan

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Sheryl (#26 Prissy Priscilla)

Intro:

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- 13 Pretty Penny- Deloris (lea)
2) Winner- 61 Lick My Nuts- Buddha (crackers)
3) Winner- 51 Vaginaterian- Dave (love leash)
4) Winner- 28 Damnit Clyde- Judy (crackers)
5) Winner- 95 Soak It In Cider- Penny (flashing jager button)
6) Winner- 29 Damnit Judy- Clyde (pen)
7) Winner- 71 Scratchy- Morgan (pen)
8) Winner- 90 What Happens In the Aquarium, Stays In the Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing(crackers)(can’t believe he gave this one to the girls)

Halftime

Second Half:
9) Winner- 89 River Rat- Katie (keychain)
10)Winner- 58 Lula May- Facial Shot (pen)
11)Winner- 75 JonBenet Ramsey- Sarah (I’m not a Fokker) Schrader
12)Winner- 26 Prissy Priscilla- Sheryl the Flagholder (pen)
13) Winner- 35 Peggy Sue- Peggy (pen)
14) Winner- 5 Sorry, wasn’t paying attention (fjb)
15) Winner- 63 Jack Attack- Jackie (pen)
16) Winner- 80 Sometimes I Wake Up Horny, and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep- Holly (pen)

Goodbye Losers:

Bob & Tom Semifinals:
1) Winner- 13 Pretty Penny- Deloris
2) Winner- 5 The Unknown Crab
3) Winner- 75 JonBenet Ramsey- Sarah
4) Winner- 90 What Happens In the Aquarium, Stays In the Aquarium-
Chainsaw Sisters. REPRESENT!

Finals

Time: Minus five

Fourth Place- HW&AWD – 5 The Unknown Crab
Third Place- T-Shirt- 90 WHITA,SITA- Chainsaw Sisters
Second Place- $20- 13 Pretty Penny- Deloris
First Place- $30- 75 JonBenet Ramsey- Sarah

Sarah threw the first place money back in, so we’ll be runnin’ for doubles next time. Sorry this didn’t get out sooner. It sure would be easier if I did it Thursday or Friday, we’ll just have to see how it goes. Good Crowd. Cake. A fine evening indeed. Well it’s ten and a half bells, so I think I’ll look for something to play tomorrow over at Itunes. See you Wednesday. In the words of Madeline Kahn- “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing”.

j

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