Crab Racing USA

Hoy Hoy!! Greetings from Casa Dos Gatos!

Everything’s good here at the compound. Got to watch “The Matador”. Very enjoyable. Some say it’s Brosnan’s best work. They’re probably right. Although, the second season of “Remington Steele” had some stuff. Of course, it was the last year of his contract, so that’s a motivator right there. On the other hand, he was carrying Stephanie Zimbalist, and that’s a load. As far as the movie goes, recommended, but I think “The Thomas Crowne Affair” was more entertaining.

Crab Racing USA was the theme tonight. All fifty states were represented. Proportionally, I believe. The music was rock and roll pretty much, with a polka and some college fight songs thrown in. Small crowd. Second chance crabs for anyone who wanted one, as well as one halftime entry. Jerry Jeff Jordan sittin’ in front of me. Clockwise from him were Dr Carl, Cowgirl Holly, Heather the Flag holder, a guy we’ll call the dude with Heather, Paul (back from a long absence), erererer, Jim G, Brenda G, and Patty. Facial Shot at their regular table (really had their Crab-naming chops tonight. those guys make pornography almost sound like poetry. true artists). Dave and a couple other guys at the bar and that was about it. The rest of the tables were eighty percent full, but they were non-playas. Weird mood musically tonight. I’ve been listening to Bebel Gilbertos’ “Tanto Tempo Remixes” (really beat-heavy Brazilian elevator music) but I figured they wouldn’t stand for that for long, so I just started playing stuff.

Rick behind the bar, Nelia in the Kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, Steve running Ethernet cable, and me, I’m what you call “collateral damage”. While I was out though, somebody slipped this into my pocket-

Crab Racing USA

PreRace:


Announcements:
NO CRAB RACING OCTOBER 10TH. Steve will however go ahead and keep Folkies open for those who just want to sing the songs acappella and drink.

Trivia Answers:
1) Large Intestine- Clapper
2) Sir Galahad- M & M’s
3) Orville Wright- Lanyard with detachable keychain (LWDK)
4) Miss Scarlett- M & M’s
5) Iberian Peninsula- Chip Clip

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag holder- Heather- #3 Pookey

Intro:

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #3 Pooky (won race one last week. didn’t make finals)- Heather the Flag holder (M & M’s)
2) Winner- #24 Auggie- Brenda (M & M’s)
3) Winner- #4 You Know You’re Good When You Have To Wash Your Hair (YKYGWYHTWYH)- Folkies Fokkers (Chip Clip)
4) Winner- #89 Tell Her To Open Wider- Facial Shot Racing (pen)
5) Winner- #51 Lick My Nuts (alright, maybe not poetry)- FSR (M & M’s)
6) Winner- # 75 Michael Jackson Used To Be My Babysitter- FSR (flashing Jager button(fJb))
7) Winner- #26 Tricky Dicky Show Pony Daddy- (four races in a row) FSR (LWDK)
8) Winner- #44 I Can’t Be Bought, But I Can Be Rented Real Cheap- Paul (crackers)

Halftime:

Second Half:
9) Winner- #61 Sometimes I Wake Up Horny, and Sometimes I Let Him Sleep- Holly (M & M’s)

Halftime Entries:
#94 Lil’ Bastard- Jeff

10) Winner- #2 I Got Your Meat Loaf- Holly (keychain)
11) Winner- #90 Me So Horny- Dr Carl (1983 Plymouth Reliant)
12) Winner- #13 This Chocolate Tastes Like Shit- FSR (pen)
13) Winner- #95 Slick- Jerry (fJb)
14) Winner- #30 Dammit Jim- Brenda (M & M’s)
15) Winner- #1 F*cker- FSR (fJb)
16) Winner- #37 Goldie- Patty (M & M’s)

Goodbye Losers:

Bob & Tom Semifinals:
1) Winner- #51 Lick My Nuts- FSR
2) Winner- #30 Dammit Jim (nacional mexicano cangrejo)- Brenda
3) Winner- #4 YKYGWYHTWYH- FF
4) Winner- #44 I Can’t Be Bought etc…- Paul

Finals

Time:
Minus nine

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- HW&AWD – #44 I Can’t Be Bought, But I Can Be Rented Real Cheap- Paul
Third Place- T-Shirt- #30 Dammit Jim- Brenda
Second Place- $20- #4 (YKYGWYHTWYH)- Folkies Fokkers
First Place- $30- #51 Lick My Nuts- Facial Shot Racing

No #3 again. that’s strange. Anyway, not a bad night at all. Beers of the World Crab Racing next week. Let me know next time you’re in town and we’ll get together.

In the words of Madeline Kahn- “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing”.

j

Big Rasta Crab on the coconut hut

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