Superhero Crab Racing

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Another beautiful evening at the compound, nice moon on the lawn. Never gets old.


I was perusing the internets the other night and VH1 Classic was providing the background electromagnetic ambience required for serious surfing. Their Classic Album show came on. This one was
Aja by Steely Dan. I know I’m preaching to the choir on this, but those guys are quite proficient at the music thing. I checked my Zen and found everything but Gaucho. Anyway, that’s 85 songs, 6 hours and 28 minutes, and 430 mb of music, and I defy you to find two misses in the whole batch. I’ve had it on shuffle for 3 days, and haven’t heard one yet. Not bad at all.

Sneaky big crowd tonite. A few open spots around and twofers on the Crabs, we ended up racing forty-four of Sonny’s finest. The Twisted Ones occupied the table in the southwest corner window. Mike and Team TBS were strong along the east wall and race row had 8 evers and a never. We picked up a new team (of course they aren’t technically sanctioned until they run 3 consecutive races), The Shocker Racing Team. I’ll tell you about them after the recap. Steve was large and in charge. Rob behind the bar. Nelia in the kitchen. Rhonda on the floor, serving us all. And me, I was rescued by-

Superhero Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:
Some of
this. And this. And this

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Mexico City- Koozie
2) Rockefeller- 56 Herbs T-shirt
3) Mexico City- Hammer
4) Souza- Jagermeister Tank Top
5) South America- Take Five

112-108

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Terri- Alecka Penis

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #64 Lazy Larry. I May Be Ugly, But At Least I Have Hairpeeze- Jeremy- Love Leash

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #55 Captain Miller’s Two Ball Root Injection- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)- Letter Opener
3) Winner- #53 Long Shot- Twisted Fister Racing (TFR)- Golf Balls
4) Winner- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!- Super Folkie (more about him later)
5) Winner- #77 Two In The Hut, One In The Butt- The Shocker Racing Team (SRT)- Pen
6) Winner- #61 Super Semen Squirting Thunder Thruster Man- TFR- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
7) Winner- – #44 Captain Erection- TBS- Keychain
8) Winner- #96 Twin Peaks- TFR? (let me know if I’m wrong)- Potted Meat (PM)

Halftime:
Some of this. And this as well.

109-113

Second Half:
9) Winner- #50 Peter Parker, Sphincter Man- TFR- Love Leash
Halftime Entries: Jennifer’s Dick and Super Slut

10) Winner- #She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- Folkies Fokkers (FF)- Keychain
11) Winner- #57 The Bionic Wi Wo- ? (sorry, forgot to write it down)- WB

The Wave

12) Winner- #99 Two In The Goo, One In The Poo- SRT- FJB
13) Winner- #80 Captain Choad (or Chode, if you prefer)- TFR- Pen
14) Winner- #67 Four To Make Her Come, All That’s Left Is The Thumb- SRT- LO (Mandatory Sing-a-long 8-10-10-11)
15) Winner- #6 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Num, Num, Num- American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)- FJB
16) Winner- #76 Mighty Maintenance Man- TBS- Love Leash

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #64 Lazy Larry. I May Be Ugly, But At Least I Have Hairpeeze- Jeremy
2) Winner- #61 Super Semen Squirting Thunder Thruster Man- Twisted Fister Racing
3) Winner- #53 Long Shot- Twisted Fister Racing
4) Winner- #96 Twin Peaks- Twisted Fister Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #61 Super Semen Squirting Thunder Thruster Man- Twisted Fister Racing
Third Place- T-shirt- #53 Long Shot- Twisted Fister Racing
Second Place- $20 #96 Twin Peaks- Twisted Fister Racing
First Place- $30 (plus $30 from last week) #64 Lazy Larry. I May Be Ugly, But At Least I Have Hairpeeze- Jeremy

Time:
Minus Four

There it is. Very fast Semifinals, we were headed for overtime, and then the little arthropods just kinda took off. Quite the show. The shark, mandatory sing-along, and a Mythical Corvette, on top of all the Superhero shtick made it worth more than the price of admission. As for The Shocker Racing Team. I always thought The Shocker was the standard bearer for low, but these guys gave it the “Aristocrats” treatment, to great effect. Like they say in Terre Haute “good on ’em”.

I’ll leave you with a little Chinese music in the banyan trees, and in the words of Madeline Kahn– “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.

Ciao for nao
j

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