Football Crab Racing

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Hope everything’s good and your trip went as well as could be expected. That’s a long drive.

I was passing out sausage at the Fly-in Cruise-in last Saturday, and this song gets stuck in my head. A little T-Bone Burnett ditty titled “Humans From Earth“. I don’t know how it got there, but it wasn’t going away. Anyway, it was from the soundtrack to a movie called “Until The End Of The World” (Bis ans Ende der Welt). The movie had William Hurt and Sam Neill and a bunch of people I don’t know. I think I need to watch it again. If you haven’t seen it, let me know when you’re going to be around and we’ll screen it.

Pre-ESPN crowd tonite. No Banjo Stringers. No Twisted Fisters. No Shockers. Race row however was full. Leslie (racing unaffiliated) anchored the eleven o’clock position on the Row, with a good size Facial Shot Team returning to the table on the other side. Steve and the Original Sarah were posted at the West End of the bar. A couple of Moose Knucklers at the South Window Table. John had the Skyboxes all to himself. That was about it. Double up on your crabs tonite. It did fill up pretty well by the end of the evening, with the Moose Knuckle Racing Team (MKR) making a heck of a showing (in people, if not wins). Rob behind the bar, Nelia in the kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, and the Cubs on the box. A perfect night for-

Football Crab Racing-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And finally, this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Florida-
Vienna Sausages (VS)
2) Gary Player- Jagermeister Tank Top (M)
3) Silversmith- VS
4) Mississippi- (M)
5) Amazon- Potted Meat (PM)


National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Tabitha- Didn’t have a Crab! (our screener has been sacked)

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries

First Half:
1) Winner- #64 Thanx. Now Wipe That Sh*t Off Of Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Robert- Jagermeister Lanyard (LL)

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #77 LICK MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- Crunchy Dark Sticks (CDS)
3) Winner- #75 Where’s Everybody At?- Folkie’s Fokkers (FF)
4) Winner- #31 Facks Like A Champ- FSR- Magic Jar Opener (MIGHTY GRIP!! Can’t believe I was the only one who knew that) (MG)
5) Winner- #57 In Memory Of This Chocolate Pudding TASTES LIKE SH*T!!!- FSR-Koozie
6) Winner- #8 Wilma Fingerdieux- Mike- Jolly Ranchers
7) Winner- #16 Fart In A Hail Storm- John- CDR
8) Winner- #84 Richard Edward (My Friends Call Me Dick Ed)- Mike- PM

Halftime:
Some of
this. Some of this as well.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #96 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Num Num Num Num- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)- LL

Halftime Entries:
About Half a dozen. A few Moose Knuckles (no offense intended) and Leslie put in a Crab named Win Bitch

10) Winner- #66 If You Experience An Erection Lasting Longer Than Four Hours, Call More Nurses- AAAG
11) Winner- #01 Fucks Like A Champ Ain’t Shit- FSR
12) Winner- #5 Oh, I Forgot To Name My Crab- FF- Keychain13) Winner- #49 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF- Koozie
14) Winner- #29 Funk Dog- FSR- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)

The Wave

15) Winner- #67 Win Bitch- Leslie- Koozie
16) Winner- #55 Les You, More Me- Leslie- LL

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #57 In Memory Of- This Chocolate Pudding TASTES LIKE SH*T!!!- Facial Shot Racing
2) Winner- #66 If You Experience An Erection Lasting Longer Than Four Hours, Call More Nurses- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists
3) Winner- #75 Where’s Everybody At?- Folkie’s Fokkers
4) Winner- #31 Facks Like A Champ (Apparently was worth a sh*t)- Facial Shot Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s) – #75 Where’s Everybody At?- Folkie’s Fokkers
Third Place- T-shirt- #57 In Memory Of- This Chocolate Pudding TASTES LIKE SH*T!!!- Facial Shot Racing
Second Place- $20 #31 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
First Place- $30 #66 If You Experience An Erection Lasting Longer Than Four Hours, Call More Nurses- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists


Time:
Minus Two

So there you go. Triple A G comes out strong in the second half and takes the whole thing. Evidently if the Flagholder doesn’t get a Crab, the Flag Holder’s Luck trickles down to the dj. Who would have thought? Pulled out all the stops, packed Second Half. The Skunk, the Crab, the Shark, The Chicken dance. I don’t think there was anything left in the basket. The evening started out kind of weird but it got on track and ended up with a nice vibe by time we got done.

Gonna try to get out to Stone’s this weekend to see you guys play. Don’t know that I’ll do the Dorothy Double, but you never can tell.

Ciao for nao
j

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