Crab Racing USA (Train Style)

Hoy Hoy,
Greetings from the compound. Hope all’s well in the Great White North. Although you couldn’t tell from the weather, I guess summer is over, so I’ll be up Saturday to shutter Puerto dos Gatos for the winter.

In the last issue I mentioned Ashley had a group that looked like they were a team in search of a name. This week they arrived as a team with a name, The Goondock Saints (GSR). Of course, they technically aren’t sanctioned until they race three straight races, but I’m thinking the committee will knock a week off of that due to the top notch shirts they put together (front, back, and sleeve). Unfortunately, it appears that the best looking members of the team had the good sense to not turn in their photos.

Middlin’ crowd. We started the first half with twenty-five Crabs, but filled in a bunch more at halftime. I believe Goondocks had eight on the far side of Race Row along with the corner table. Cathy the Flagholder and Cathy’s Boy had the Jukebox Table. Mike was sporting his Official Crab Racing Bowler and was occupying the WHITASITA Seat on the Row next to Sheila. Corby was doing the free radical thing, jumping back and forth between Race Row and a group celebrating a birthday at the Loud Table. The Piss Boy had a group at the far window table. What appeared to be a non-Racing group had the other window table and lo’ and behold, a small contingent of Fisters. Nice to have them back. The Skyboxes were for the most part empty with the exception of Darnell in the East Box and Nelia at the West End. Steve was working the room. Rick was behind the bar. Thursday night Shane in the kitchen. And Rhonda on the floor. All I can say is that I’m proud to be an American, because it’s-

Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Six- Potted Meat (PM)
2) Lao Tzu– Sports Water Bottle (SWB)
3) Northern Umbria- PM
4) Episcopalian- SWB
5) David Hinckley- PM

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- #22 Cathy’s Boy- Cathy

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #31 Ricky Bobby– Goondock Saints Racing (GSR)- Penguin

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #5 I’m Throwin’ A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- Jagermeister Lanyard (LL)
3) Winner- #48 Piss Boy- Mike- Keychain (KC)
4) Winner- #84 Pickled Pete- Twisted Fister Racing (TFR)
5) Winner- #67 Muff Diver- GSR- KC
6) Winner- #34 I’m Only Four Inches, But Some Girls Like It That Thick- Folkies Fookers (FF)- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
7) Winner- #74 Leapin’ Larry- TFR
8) Winner- #I’m A Hard Habit To Break- FF- Pen

Halftime:
You can go with this or you can go with that.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #76 My Name Is Richard Edward, But My Friends Call Me Dick Ed- Mike- KC

Halftime Entries:
A whole crapload

10) Winner- #87 Off Like A Prom Dress- Corby- Letter Opener (LO)
11) Winner- #37 Caligula- GSR- Koozie

The Wave

12) Winner- #12 Wilma Fingerdieux- Mike- Pen
13) Winner- #2 Bang Me- Sheila- LL
14) Winner- #22 Cathy’s Boy- Cathy- Something Nice (SN)
15) Winner- #0 That’s A Nice Story. Now Take Your Pants Off- FF- Something Almost As Nice (SAAN)
16) Winner- #92 Bandit– Jennifer- Pen

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #67 Muff Diver- Goondock Saints Racing
2) Winner- #34 I’m Only Four Inches, But Some Girls Like It That Thick- Folkies Fockers
3) Winner- #0 That’s A Nice Story. Now Take Your Pants Off- Folkies Fockers
4) Winner- #84 Pickled Pete- Twisted Fister Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #34 I’m Only Four Inches, But Some Girls Like It That Thick- Folkies Fokkers
Third Place- T-shirt- #0 That’s A Nice Story. Now Take Your Pants Off- Folkies Fokkers
Second Place- $20- #84 Pickled Pete- Twisted Fister Racing
First Place- $30- #67 Muff Diver- Goondock Saints

Time:
PLUS Two!

Well there you have it. Ashley gets First for the Saints in their debut, Twisted Fisters sneak back in for second, and the Fokkers bring in third as well as fourth. TBS and Triple A G took the week off, probably getting ready for the 31st. Lost Bradys showed up, but didn’t run well at all.

You may not have noticed, but the Eight Crab didn’t win the sixth race this time. In fact, he didn’t win any race. I heard Sonny talking about a Crab abandoning it’s shell this morning and then later Mike (the guy who’s had the Eight Crab the past four weeks) said that the Crab has ceased to be.


The combination of Superhero Crab Racing and a Halftime Halloween costume contest on the 31st should make for one of the biggest nights of the year. As your attorney, I highly recommend you attend. Ought to be a hoot. Also, Sonny’s playing a new venue on Friday November 2nd. I think I’ll go up. If you want to navigate, you’re more than welcome. Just let me know. Note to other readers- anyone else who might want to come along is welcome to join us. There’s a link to a map in the upcoming races section and I might even have a couple of seats open for riders. Let me know.

I’ll be in and out this weekend. Work and the aforementioned closing of the cabin on Saturday. Going to Parker City to see Martha’s Mom and Grandmother off to the Rio Grande Valley for the winter on Sunday. We really need to get together for a movie, maybe if you’re still in town on Sunday night. We’ll have to see.

Ciao for nao
j

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