Chimichanga Cheeseyburrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Well here we are, right up against it. Once again my day job is leaning on my off time and sitting at this rotten machine is one of the first casualties. Almost wrapped with inventory though. I don’t know about you, but I find that I can only count stuff for so long before my grace disappears. Hopefully it will return soon.
A special night tonight at the track. It’s one of those crowds that remind you that while Crab Racing is an Adult Entertainment, that does not preclude that it is mature. Not saying that’s bad. Not saying that’s good. Just saying. The Hinckys are here tonight. As well as the Defending Champion Facial Shot Team. A couple of new teams as well. Team Gaylor are up in the boxes and The Sheisty Bastards and the Bitch Racing Team are up on the Row. Your Host this evening is Steve Schrader, back from a rare race off. Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen, and Rhonda’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!! And I believe that we’ve arrived at that point in the evening when it’s appropriate to ask, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME-
Football Crab Racing-
PreRace
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Calgary Stampede
2) Five Miles Long
3) Eureka
4) DJ
5) Lint
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Angela
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries
First Half
1) Winner- #75 I’m Only Four Inches, But Some Girls LIKE IT THAT THICK!!!- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #6 Krusty Krab- Angela
3) Winner- #1 Fux Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
4) Winner- #39 Lick MY NUTS!!!- FSR
5) Winner- #16 Don’t Eat The Clowns. They Taste Funny- FF
6) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
7) Winner- #28 I’m A Hard Habit To Break- FF
8) Winner- #41Y North Beach- Sheisty Bastards and the Bitch Racing (SBB)
Halftime
Some of this. Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya)
9) Winner- #46 Lady Luck- ??? (a little help on the owner of this Crab please)
Halftime Entries
Yep
10) Winner- #What Happens In The Aquarium, Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
11) Winner- #8 Come Shot- Team Gaylor (TG)
The Wave
12) Winner- #13 Won Hung Low- SBB
13) Winner- #22 I Love My Girlfriend Because Her Dog Licked MY BALLS!!!- Team Hincky (TH)
14) Winner- #11 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF
15) Winner- #50 Little Bitch- TG
16) Winner- #42 Whose Crab Is It?- TH
Goodbye Losers
Semifinals
1) Winner- #46 Lady Luck- ???
2) Winner- #6 Krusty Krab- Angela
3) Winner- #1 Fux Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- #41Y North Beach- Sheisty Bastards and the Bitch Racing
Finals
Order of Merit
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #46 Lady Luck- ???
Third Place- T-Shirt- #6 Krusty Krab- Angela
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (The Next Best Thing To Free)- #41Y North Beach- Sheisty Bastards and the Bitch Racing
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (Ditto)- #1 Fux Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
Time
Plus Two
Facial Shot gets their first win of the year, the Sheisty ones grab second, and the Luck Of The Flagholder takes the final podium spot. The Crabs run a respectable Plus Two, considering the chill.
The Fabulous Racing Crabs return to the friendly confines on February 2nd with the heaviest board in the Crab Business, Brickyard Crab Racing. Pick ‘em at seven thirty, race ‘em at eight. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao j