Superhero Crab Racing- Three Kings 3/6

Hoy Hoy-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! The weather’s getting warmer and the days are getting longer. Been pounding around the compound, clearing brush and repairing winter’s worst, won’t be long now. Just finished a biography of one Nesta Robert Marley.
Great stuff. It covers his life from the early 1500s until the release of Catch A Fire in 1973. So tonight’s musical guest is the incredible, peerless, Bob Marley. So sit back, grab one, and let the music hit you mon.

A beautiful drive to Crabsville USA this evening. WHITA SITA riding shotgun as the Chainsaw Sisters take it on the road. We arrive about an hour before the show and Young Dave’s already entertaining a nice crowd. As we get set up, the room fills up with what turns out to be another Natural Sellout. The serious Racers start lining up about twenty past seven, and Sonny starts signup early so they can get back to their tables.

A crowd of very enthusiastic group of virgins over at the Window Table. The Other Sara with no H has a strong bunch of racers at the DJ’s Table, stealthily working the Internets in search of Trivia answers. Speaking of Trivia answers, Sally has a band of Sisters at the Loud Table that exhibits a stunning combination of beauty and brains. Apparently at some point Alan Shepherd was romantically involved with Helen of Troy, much to the surprise of everyone in the room, as well as Mrs. Shepherd I’ll wager. The Pharts make the trip up from Mayberry and are ensconced on Race Row. Young Dave’s behind the bar and Jill-Bob’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! I SEE Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and The Flash and I’m thinking that can mean only one thing, get out your capes and tights, because it’s time for-

Superhero Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:

1) Pepe Le Pew
2) Saturday
3) Dillinger
4) Citizen Kane
5) Paris (not Alan Shepherd)

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Ashley

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:

1) Winner- #42 Well Hung- Michelle

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #51 Oliver Twist. Because I Love Good Dickens- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
3) Winner- #55 Itchy- Barb
4) Winner- #50 Wild Willie- Lindsey
5) Winner- #17 Sassy Assassin- Dee Dee
6) Winner- #1 Tripod- Sara
7) Winner- #76 Clyde- Tom
8) Winner- #26 Hippo Bob- Luke

Halftime:
Some of this. This as well

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #0 Bubbaganush- Ashley

Halftime Entries:
Not tonite

10) Winner- #5 Is It In Yet? Aaron
11) Winner- SuperCrab

The Wave

12) Winner- #22 Mumble Crab- Jake
13) Winner- #15 Speedy Gonzales- Sally
14) Winner- #40 What Happens In The Aquarium, STAYS IN THE AQUARIUM!!!- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
15) Winner- #99 Dick In A Box– Meghan
16) Winner- #34 Chrome- Brian

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:

1) Winner- #42 Well Hung- Michelle
2) Winner- #40 What Happens In The Aquarium, STAYS IN THE AQUARIUM!!!- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
3) Winner- #55 Itchy- Barb
4) Winner- #50 Wild Willie- Lindsey

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #40 What Happens In The Aquarium, STAYS IN THE AQUARIUM!!!- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
Third Place- $10- #50 Wild Willie- Lindsey
Second Place- $15- #55 Itchy- Barb
First Place- $25- #42 Well Hung- Michelle

Time:
Minus Four (it must be Spring)

The Good Sisters make the long drive for a hearty wave and a well done. The Flag holder’s luck pulls a Third for Lindsey. Barb rides the Biggest Crab In The World (as far as you know) to Second and Michelle pulls an unknown to take home the Corvette (our third in three races).

I think this one’s done. Here’s one more from Bob. The Crabs make the trek back to Crabsville on April 3rd on a Board that has yet to be determined. Pick ‘em at 7:30 (or 7:20), race ‘em at 8. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j

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