Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Gonna give you a quick blast so I can get this one up before we head for Hoagville tomorrow night. I’ll dispense with the musical guest tonite. I’m almost done with “Chronicles”, an autobiographical piece by Mrs. Zimmerman’s boy Bobby. I’ll stick some in in my Hoagland post.
An amazing crowd at the Folkstead tonite. Decent temperatures, clear skies, first day of April. I’m thinking everybody’s still got a little Cabin Fever. Combine that with Crabbin’ Fever and you get what we got, a Natural Sellout! All the major teams are well represented. The Fantastic Leslie has a Gang of Four representing Tighter Than A Banjo String in the corner at the loud table. A new entry, Tired Dog Racing is at the Jukebox. The Crabby Old Pharts are working the Eastside of the Board and the Chainsaw Sisters offer up three Virgins on the Westside. The Facial Shooters are in the Field Level Boxes to my left, along with a couple of Fockers. Team Hincky is back toward the window and the League leading Sapphire Racing League occupies the Skyboxes.
Your host tonite is Steve Schrader, making promises nobody wants to see him keep. Ricky the Four Inch Wonder is behind the Bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen, and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! The first of April can only mean a couple of things. First, the Azaleas are in bloom in Augusta and second, put me in coach, because it’s-
Baseball Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Santiago
2) Drone
3) Fritz The Cat
4) Whippet
5) Post Meridian
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Shannon (A Virgin)
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #85 Rudy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #19 What Happens In The Aquarium, STAYS IN THE AQUARIUM!!!- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
3) Winner- #95 Crab Meat- CSR
4) Winner- #17 I Thought I Had A Case Of The Crabs, But I Only Counted Twenty-Three- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
5) Winner- #26 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- COF
6) Winner- #71 Nashty- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #74 Sorry About Your Face. And Hair- Team Hincky (TH)
8) Winner- #88 TD1- Tired Dog Racing (TDR)
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #46 Hey Lady, Nice Catcher’s Mitt. And The Glove Ain’t Bad Either- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)
Halftime Entries:
Nope
10) Winner- #15 Nads- CSR
11) Winner- #22 Oliver Twist. I Love Good Dickens- COF
The Wave
12) Winner- #40 Yeah, But How Do You Make It Curve Like That?- TBS
13) Winner- #1 You Know What They Say About Crabs With Big Pincers, THEY HAVE BIG SHELLS!!!- COF
14) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
15) Winner- #51 Tallywhacker Toucher- TH
16) Winner- #11 Anal Orifice- Heather
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #46 Hey Lady, Nice Catcher’s Mitt. And The Glove Ain’t Bad Either- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
2) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
3) Winner- #95 Crab Meat- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
4) Winner- #17 I Thought I Had A Case Of The Crabs, But I Only Counted Twenty-Three- Crabby Old Pharts
Some Outstanding Individuals-
Ricky Four Inch- Behind the Bar
Thursday Night Shane- In the Kitchen
Steve Schrader- Your Crab Racing Host
And on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Rhonda.
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #46 Hey Lady, Nice Catcher’s Mitt. And The Glove Ain’t Bad Either- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
Third Place- A Top Quality Tee Shirt- #95 Crab Meat- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
Second Place- $20 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“The next best thing to free”)- #17 I Thought I Had A Case Of The Crabs, But I Only Counted Twenty-Three- Crabby Old Pharts
First Place- $30 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“Ditto”)- Super Folkie, The House Crab
Time:
Plus Six
Another great night of Racing in the Friendly Confines. The Banjo Stringers grab a hearty handshake and a point to move into a tie for Third in the standings in just their second appearance this year. The Good Sisters take third with a Virgin (although Tom really didn’t strike me as virginal). That puts them in that tie for Third with TBS. The Pharts get Second and tie the Sapphires for First Place in the League Standings and Super Folkie steals the First Place money in a rare win.
The Crabs return to Folkie’s on April 15th on a Board that is yet to be determined and Super Folkie will bring tonite’s $30 with him and we’ll Race for $60. Talk about stimulus!! Until then, he’s Sonny Starr!
djjj