Chimichanga Cheeseyburrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Sorry you had to run last night. As Steve Schrader said “it’s the perfect Folkie’s crowd. The hall is pretty well filled and no one has to stand.”
Of course the first night of the season means we had awards to hand out. Not only did we honor last year’s champion, Facial Shot Racing, with a plaque, we also handed out plaques and movies to 2009’s (that’s twenty o nine) top three teams. There’s also a permanent plaque recognizing each year’s champions on the south wall. Quite festive indeed.
The start of the new year appears to be what one might call the beginning of the “silly season” with several teams (including the most recent champions) disbanding and reforming under new banners. We’re joined by a new team, Detroit Hardware Racing (no previous affiliation), and while Sapphire Racing is still with us, as well as the Crustacean Sensations and Facial Shot Racing, gone are the Screamin’ Seamen, The Crabby Old Pharts, and Team Hinkey. The alliance of SS and COF has now become The Purple People Pukers, and Team Hinkey has split, with the adorable Tallywhacker Toucher and KMC forming the Crabby Cupcake Lovers and the equally adorable “man with the fastest spreading crabs” founding the Doctor Hugs Inc racing team. League rule six states that teams are probationary until they run three consecutive races and as we said in a previous post, the Crabby Old Pharts didn’t score their first points until March, so there’s plenty of time to return to their old names before the racing gets intense.
The lovely Steve Schrader is your host. Ricky the four inch wonder is behind the bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! The NFL regular season is over, wild card weekend is upon us, so I’ve got just one question. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME-
Football Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Boston Bruins
2) London
3) Miss Scarlet
4) Orville Wright
5) Pocahontas
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stefanie
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #77 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Purple People Pukers (PPP)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #78 She Could Only Blow The Tip- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
3) Winner- #58 Carl The Carpet Muncher- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #9B John Doe- PPP
5) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
6) Winner- #51 Git R Done- SRL
7) Winner- #4 Don’t Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON’T TRUST YOU!!!- SRL
8) Winner- #39 Abe Froman. Sausage King Of Chicago- PPP
Halftime:
Some of this. Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #76 I Can’t Believe It’s That Long- FSR
Halftime Entries:
Sold out baby
10) Winner- #80 Willow Branch- SRL
11) Winner- #87 Corpse Grinder- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
The Wave
12) Winner- #96 Bone Saw- CS
13) Winner- #99 Jumpin’ Jack Flash- SRL
14) Winner- #31 Dead Girls Don’t Say No- CS
15) Winner- #25 My Underwear Has Convenience Openings- PPP
16) Winner- #7 She Said Fuq Me Silly So I Put On A Clown Suit- PPP
Goodbye Losers:
Disco Semifinals:
1) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
2) Winner- #51 Git R Done- Sapphire Racing League
3) Winner- #4 Don’t Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON’T TRUST YOU!!!- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #96 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #51 Git R Done- Sapphire Racing League
Third Place- T-Shirt- #4 Don’t Trust A Ho, CAUSE THE HO DON’T TRUST YOU!!!- Sapphire Racing League
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (The Next Best Thing To Free)- #96 Bone Saw- Crustacean Sensations
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (Ditto)- Super Folkie, The House Crab
Time:
Plus Ten
Super Folkie leads a cold pack of Crabs to a dismal Plus Ten. The Sensations grab the Second Place points and give them self a quick four to three lead over SRL who take Third and Fourth.
Super Folkie will bring the First Place money back on the twentieth, when the winner will take home 60 bucks. Pick ‘em at seven thirty, race ‘em at eight. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j