Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos and welcome back to Mayberry. Hope your gig in Massachusetts went smoothly. Everything’s seems to be going swell here. That’s usually when the wheels fall off. We’ll see.
Another classic Folkie’s crowd. There are different types of Crab Crowds. The classic Three Kings crowd is large, loud, and about halfway paying attention, but always a blast. The classic Folkie’s crowd tends to fall short of a sellout, but makes up for it with intensity and enthusiasm, and as in Hoagland, always a blast. I’ll try to sneak a couple of vids into this post to illustrate my point.
You can tell summer is over, the top six teams in the Folkie’s Crab are with us to begin the stretch drive in the 2009 Crab Racing Season. Pete’s back after a summer of riding. He’s joined by his compadres from SRL. The two Hinksters are here, as well as the Crabby Young Pharts, Crustacean Sensations, Screamin’ Seamen, Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing, Folkie’s Fockers, and the good doctors of the American Association of Amateur Gynecologists. Steve Schrader is your lovely host. Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is back on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!!! I think I saw Hank out back, would somebody get him and tell him it’s time for-
Football Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Franklin Delano Roosevelt
2) Gerald Ford
3) Colonel Tom Parker
4) The Godfather
5) Spartacus
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Georgia
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #46 Don’t Trust The Ho, Cuz The Ho Don’t Trust You- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
3) Winner- #89 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Farts (COF)
4) Winner- #59 Doctor Claw- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
5) Winner- #41w Lonely Boner- Dan
6) Winner- #71 John Doe- COF
7) Winner- #76 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Screamin’ Seamen (SS)
8) Winner- #62 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #35 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs! Wanna Come?- Amanda
Halftime Entries:
Sevenish
10) Winner- #65 Old Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- SS
11) Winner- #41r Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- SRL
The Wave
12) Winner- #30 Kosuke Fukudome- FF
13) Winner- #40 Sapphire III- SRL
14) Winner- #87 Screaming Orgasm- Greg
15) Winner- #48 If I Give U A Banana, Will U Fuq Me Like A Gorilla?- Team Hinkey (TH)
16) Winner- #6 Tallywhacker Toucher- TH
Goodbye Losers:
Bob & Tom Semifinals:
1) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
2) Winner- #65 Old Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen
3) Winner- #89 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Farts
4) Winner- #6 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #89 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Crabby Old Farts
Third Place- A High Quality Folkie’s Tee-Shirt- #65 Old Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (The Next Best Thing To Free)- Super Folkie, The House Crab
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Krab Kash (Ditto)- #6 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Time:
Plus Eleven!
Technically, there was only one Top Five Crab in the Finals, the resurgent Super Folkie. Although the #89 Crab is actually the renumbered Fifth Place Crab, #84. I’ve done some research and in the recorded history (the past two years) of Crab Racing, the winner of Race 16 has made the Finals five times. Tonite was the sixth time, and the first time that that Crab went on to win First place. That means that Tallywhacker Toucher lost 15 races before winning the last Preliminary, the last Semi-Final, and the Finals, the next three races she ran in. A feat that shall in the future be dubbed a Tallywhack. Good on ya Darlin’, well done.
The Crabs return to Folkie’s for a rare “Blue Moon” show (three shows in one month) on September 30th. Nearly forgot to mention Super Folkie took Second Place, so we’ll be racing for a $50 First Place prize. remember, pick ’em at 7:30, race ’em at 8:00. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j