Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Gonna sneak this one in in time for tomorrow night’s Races at Hoagland.
Quite the small Crab Crowd tonite in the friendly confines for the first of three big shows in September, but as Steve and I discussed earlier in the week, even when the crowds at Folkie’s are small, they’re top notch. Always on their a-game. Our hats are off to them.
We’ve got three of the top six teams in the building tonite. The First Place SRL Boys are up in the Skyboxes, as are the Sixth Place Banjo Stringers. The Third Place Screamin’ Seamen make their first trek to Race Row, where they’re joined by a few more TBSers as well as some top shelf independents. No Hinkeys, no Pharts, and no Crustaceans, means that there are a bunch of League points available to the Teams in attendance. Steve Schrader is your lovely host, Ricky The Four Inch Wonder is once again behind the bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen, and Nelia is on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!! 149 labels in the inner portion and 88 labels in the Red Zone, it’s-
Beers of the World Crab Racing
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) The Imperials
2) Saturn
3) Elvis Presley
4) Germany
5) Yukon King
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Rochelle
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #58 Les U More Me- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #30 Sofa King Awesome- Screamin’ Seamen (SS)
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
4) Winner- #35 U Want A Blow Job? I’ll Bet U Do- Folkie Fockers (FF)
5) Winner- #71 I Went 2 Folkie’s And Got The Crabs- Mike
6) Winner- #84 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Of Your Face And Get Me A Beer- SS
7) Winner- #65 This Is For Rachel- SS
8) Winner- #76 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- FF
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #38 Fairmount Floozy- Jimmy
Halftime Entries:
Nope.
10) Winner- #7 I’m Sorry Miss, The Cleaners Should Be Able To Get That Out Of Your Blue Dress- TBS
11) Winner- #41 I’m Effin’ Awesome- Rochelle
The Wave
12) Winner- Super Crab, The House Crab
13) Winner- #59 Getting Head Is Not Cheating- TBS
14) Winner- #48 Fuqweiser- TBS
15) Winner- #54 Fitty Foe- Scott
16) Winner- #6 Okie From Muskogee- TBS
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #71 I Went 2 Folkie’s And Got The Crabs- Mike
2) Winner- #48 Fuqweiser- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #41 I’m Effin’ Awesome- Rochelle
Outstanding Individuals:
Your Lovely Host- Steve Schrader
Behind The Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In The Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On The Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Nelia
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #48 Fuqweiser- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #71 I Went 2 Folkie’s And Got The Crabs- Mike
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (the next best thing to free)- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (ditto)- #41 I’m Effin’ Awesome- Rochelle
Time:
Minus Three
Rochelle rides the Flagholder’s Luck to an impressive win. The Sapphire Group extends their Lead in the League Standings by taking 4 Second Place points. Third Place goes to Mike and The Banjo Stringers grab the Hearty Wave as well as the Well Done. #5 hangs on to 1st in the World Rankings, while #41 makes a major move past Super Crab from 4th to 2nd. Keep an eye on that Crab.
The Crabs return to the Friendly Confines on the 16th, with Football Crab Racing. Pick ’em at seven-thirty, race ’em at eight, we’ll see you then!
Ciao for nao
j