Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. It’s Friday night and the new Tarantino opens tonite, the Marion Classic runs tomorrow, and then Sunday I’m headed for the lakes for a couple of days of rest and relaxation, as well as some half price pizza at the Barbee Hotel. See you soon.
Tonite is the 16th anniversary of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” and those black clouds out the front window tease at a repeat. But we’re Professionals dammit, so we soldier on. Medium small crowd tonite, but the quality is outstanding. The Crabby Young Pharts join us once again. They’re accompanied on Race Row by the lovely Deloused Racing Team, several Crustacean Sensations, and a couple of Indies by the name of Brian and Kim. The Fockers take the jukebox table as the Hinkeys (congrats) and a pair of Sapphire Racers take the high ground of the Skyboxes. The Screamin’ Seamen maintain their normal spot close to the door. Steve Schrader is once again our lovely host. Ricky the Four Inch Wonder is behind the Bar. In the Kitchen we have thursday night Shane. And Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! We’ve got fifty states on the board and it ain’t November, so that can mean only one other thing, it’s-
Crab Racing USA-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Arizona
2) Philip
3) Dish
4) Ayatollah Khomeini
5) Tongue
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Stacy
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #62 Don’t Trust A Ho, Cuz The Ho Don’t Trust You- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- SRL
4) Winner- #91 Kosuke Fukudome- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
5) Winner- #84 Bone Saw- CS
6) Winner- #65 Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen (SS)
7) Winner- #46 Blow Pop- Deloused Racing Team (DRT)
8) Winner- #71 Bill Brasky- CS
Halftime:
Some of this
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #59 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- SS
Halftime Entries:
Not Tonite Darlin’
10) Winner- #54 I Like It Ruff- Kim
11) Winner- #6 Itchy DRT
The Wave
12) Winner- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
13) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
14) Winner- #51 I’m Going To Have To Num That. Num Num Num Num Num- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)
15) Winner- #48 Tiny Fuqed A Stump
16) Winner- #30 I’m A Hard Habit To Break- FF
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations
2) Winner- #65 Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen
3) Winner- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
4) Winner- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #42 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt – #65 Strippers Don’t Retire, They Just Get The Crabs- Screamin’ Seamen
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (the next best thing to free)- #58 If This Crab Wins, Brett Favre will Pull Out 4 The Season- Crustacean Sensations
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (ditto)- #5 Beat The Brakes Off That Pussy- Sapphire Racing League
Time:
Plus Eight
Four of the top five teams in the league make the Finals, with the Hinkeys pulling in to a tie with the Seamen for Third. The Sensations are in Fifth, but move a little closer with a Second Place finish. The Pharts miss the Finals, but hold on to Second in the rankings and Sapphire Racing League sneaks in and takes first to extend their lead over the rest of the League.
A big shuffle in the Crab Rankings as Super Crab drops out of the top spot for the first time in a long time. Even the Third and Fourth ranked Crabs have the potential to win, so it should be exciting when the Crabs return on the Wednesday before Labor Day with Football Crab Racing. Make sure you get there early so you don’t miss first choice of the top Crabs. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
ciao for nao
djjj