Chimichanga Cheesy Burrito-
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! It’s a gorgeous Monday night, following a beautiful weekend. Went car shopping over the weekend with Biggs, think we got a decent deal. We’ll see. Finished reading “No Country For Old Men”. The book’s as good as the movie. I recommend it highly and imagine you’ve already read it. A real feel good story!
We were scheduled to be outside tonight, but the weather forecast had a higher chance of rain than two weeks ago and the temperature was in the upper eighties with a feels like in the mid-nineties. Kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So to avoid the rain-in of the 10th, we just went ahead and started inside. A small, but enthusiastic crowd breaks a string of three Natural Sellouts in a row. A few of the big teams take the evening off, leaving some points on the table for some of the others. We’re sans SRL, TBS, COF, and FSR, but we’ve got Team Aftermath in their third race, ending their probationary period. Team Hincky continues a long consecutive race streak and we also have The Screamin’ Seamen, Folkie’s Fockers, Crustacean Sensations, and the American Pies with us tonite. Julieo is down from The Fort, leading a large group of Unaffiliated Racers, mainly composed of members of the Class of 2004 from MHS.
Steve Schrader is your lovely Host. Ricky the Four Inch Wonder is Behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Once again you can tell by the crack of the bat and the smell of the balls, it’s time for-
Baseball Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Seventeen
2) Boston Commons
3) Mount McKinley
4) Illya Kuryakin
5) Cats
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Miranda (happy birthday to you)
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #6 Shithead- Team Aftermath (TA)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #74 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
3) Winner- #90 Bob- Ryan
4) Winner- #22 Cunt Muscle- Julieo
5) Winner- #50 Fuqtard- TA
6) Winner- #55 I’m Only Four Inches But Some Girls Like It That Thick- FF
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #88 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin’ Seamen (SS)
8) Winner- #85 You Want A Blow Job? I’ll Bet You Do- FF
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #41 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey (TH)
Halftime Entries:
Seven of them
10) Winner- #59 Garrett- Maggie
11) Winner- #54 Scuba Steve- TA
The Wave
12) Winner- #92 Proof He Cheated- TA
13) Winner- #71 I’m A Hard Habit To Break- FF
14) Winner- #8 Are These Crayons Edible- TH
15) Winner- #42 My Deadliest Catch- TA
16) Winner- #35 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Numb Numb Numb Numb Numb- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #50 Fuqtard- Team Aftermath
2) Winner- #59 Garrett- Maggie
3) Winner- #88 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin’ Seamen
4) Winner- #35 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Numb Numb Numb Numb Numb- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists
Some Outstanding Individuals-
Ricky Four Inch- Behind the Bar
Thursday Night Shane- In the Kitchen
Steve Schrader- Your Crab Racing Host
And on the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Rhonda.
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #35 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Numb Numb Numb Numb Numb- The American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists
Third Place- A Top Quality Tee Shirt- #50 Fuqtard- Team Aftermath
Second Place- $20 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“The next best thing to free”)- #59 Garrett- Maggie
First Place- $30 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“Ditto”)- #88 She Said Fuq Me Silly, So I Put On A Clown Suit- Screamin’ Seamen
Time:
Plus Two
So there you have it. Another wonderful evening of racing in the friendly confines. Team Aftermath and Folkie’s Fockers both send five Crabs to the Semis and the Hinkeys send a couple, But Maggie and the Screamin’ Seamen prove the old adage- “it only takes one to win”. TA does manage to grab the Third Place Points and the good Doctors from Triple A G get their first point in a long, long time. All four finalists looked very good at the Unsanctioned Races in Decatur on the 20th.
Even with the night off, Sapphire Racing League still holds a commanding seven point lead over the Second Place Pharts. Four points back are the Seamen, who use their win to pull into a tie for Third with Team Hinkey, approximately halfway thru the Season.
The Crabs return to Folkie’s on July the 8th. We’re going to try to be outside again and will have a Deluxe Edition of the Crab Racing classic- “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” for the winner of Race Eight. Until Then, he’s Sonny Starr.
djjj