Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. So here we go. Two posts in one night. I’ll try to recall what was a one-of-a-kind evening at Folkie’s.
Semi-overcast out on The Patio here at Folksie’s. A huge crowd gathers to give us our third consecutive Natural Sellout. The Hincky’s are with us this evening, as well as a big bunch of Facial Shotters. Team Aftermath is back and we are again graced with the presence of Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing and their friends from Brazil, Joanna and Isabella. The Crabby’s are in the house and way in the back is the Official Folkie’s Coed Softball Team, fresh off of another grand effort. Steve’s your host. The Amazing Ricky Four Inch is inside behind the Bar. And Rhonda’s on the tarmac, SERVING US ALL!!! I’m not liking the looks of them clouds, but here we go, it’s-
Crab Racing USA-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Texas
2) Michigan
3) Salem
4) South Dakota
5) Mount Whitney (with Whitney’s permission, of course)
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Teresa
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #77 Billy The Kid- John (Lottoed Out for #8 Fux Like A Champ)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #65 Angie- Sapphire Racing League (SRL)
3) Winner- #71 What The Fu Hell?- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
4) Winner- #50 Fuqtard- Team Aftermath (TA)
5) Winner- #10 Gatorbate- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)
6) Winner- #35 I Got These Crabs Off Your Mom- COF
7) Winner- #29 Juju- TBS
8) Winner- #88 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hinkey (TH)
Halftime:
Some of this (great song. not so much the video). As well as this
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #59 Caligula- SRL
Halftime Entries:
Not Tonite Darlin’
10) Winner- #6 Scuba Steve- TA
11) Winner- #74 Crab Cakes- TH
The Wave
12) Winner- #46 Tallywhacker Toucher- TH
13) Winner- #55 Digger- TA
14) Winner- #4 I’m Only Four Inches, But Some Girls Like It That Thick- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
15) Winner- #90 Screw You- TBS
16) Winner- #11 Fuq ‘Em All- Nate
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #59 Caligula- Sapphire Racing League
2) Winner- #6 Scuba Steve- Team Aftermath
3) Winner- #29 Juju- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
4) Winner- #46 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #59 Caligula- Sapphire Racing League
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt – #29 Juju- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
Second Place- $20- #6 Scuba Steve- Team Aftermath
First Place- $30- #46 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hinkey
Time:
Minus Three
So about the time we get started, it starts sprinkling. We get to Race Five it’s a little heavier. And by the time we get through Races Seven and Eight, it’s coming down. So everybody grabs something and we haul it inside for the Second Half. This constitutes the first Rain-in in Crab Racing History.
Even after all of that, we finish up Minus Three, these are some Professional Racing Crabs. #46 gets his second win in a row, getting the adorable Tallywhacker Toucher her first win. The Flagholder’s Luck gets Teresa Second and the also adorable Joanna gets Third for the Banjo Stringers.
The Crabs return to the Friendly Confines on June the 24th. We’re scheduled to be on the Patio once again, and I hear there’s a 30% chance of showers. Don’t miss this! Pick ’em at 7:30, race ’em at 8. See you there!
ciao for nao
djjj