Beers Of The World- Hoagland 6/5

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Gonna sneak a quick one in before we go tomorrow night. I don’t think I’ve been exceptionally busy lately, just haven’t been in the mood to post up. You would think that it wouldn’t be that hard to throw down this crap, but sometimes I’m ready to rock and sometimes I’m not. The words are in this misshapen head of mine, it’s just hard to squeeze them out sometimes. So let’s put it on the juicer and see what comes out.

Stop the presses!! No Sellout in Hoagland tonite. Quite the small crowd for Crabsville USA. Eight Nevers and an Ever on Race Row. Lori and Barb over at the Window table. Sara With No H is on the Row tonite. Dave’s your lovely host and Jill-Bob’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!. Pay no mind to the music behind the Races, because it’s time for-

Beers Of The Worlds Crab Racing-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:

1) Margaret Mitchell
2) Python
3) Berlin
4) Monaco
5) Pep O Mint

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Missed this one

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries:
First Half:

1) Winner- #8 Mr. Crabby Pants- Carrie

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #59 Big Z- Dean
3) Winner- #50 Ninja Crab #2- Sara
4) Winner- #54 Itchy- Barb
5) Winner- #35 Licka The Split- Jill-Bob
6) Winner- #6 Tiger Lily- Bridgette
7) Winner- #46 Well Hung- Michelle
8) Winner- #That’s What She Said- Kelly

Halftime:
Some of this (great song. not so much the video). As well as this

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #11 Scooby- Michelle

Halftime Entries:
Aaack! Halftime Crab in Hoagsville!!

10) Winner- #71 Mr. Crabby- Kelly
11) Winner- #69 Ninja Crab- Sara

The Wave

12) Winner- #90 Dumbass- Kevin
13) Winner- #10 Shart- Jake
14) Winner- #88 Just Hangin’- Lori
15) Winner- #95 Damn Bitch- Curt
16) Winner- #19 Porky Pig- Doug

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:

1) Winner- #8 Mr. Crabby Pants- Carrie
2) Winner- #88 Just Hangin’- Lori
3) Winner- #46 Well Hung- Michelle
4) Winner- #90 Dumbass- Kevin

Finals

Order of Merit:

Fourth Place- A Hearty Wave And A Well Done- #88 Just Hangin’- Lori
Third Place- T-Shirt- #90 Dumbass- Kevin
Second Place- $15- #8 Mr. Crabby Pants- Carrie
First Place- $25- #46 Well Hung- Michelle

Time:
Plus Five?

Michelle rides #46 to First and grabs a copy of the Deluxe Edition of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” to boot. Teresa wraps up Second and Kevin breaks up the distaff sweep by taking Third.

It appears that the Hoagland crowd can rock the Crab Races big or small! What they lacked in numbers they made up with enthusiasm. I can’t remember a night in Hoagsville that I didn’t come away with a smile. If you haven’t been, you just can’t imagine. Your next opportunity to experience Crab Racing in southern Allen County will be on July 10th. Just an hour out of Mayberry, it’s truly worth the trip. Pick ’em at 7:30, race ’em at 8. See you there!

ciao for nao
djjj

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