Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Got the new one from Bono and the boys this week. I don’t care what Andrea says, these guys are the Greatest. Rock Band. Ever. Not even gonna field arguments on it. I’ll sneak out to Youtube and see if I can find some of the new stuff and stick it in tonite’s post for your enjoyment.
Gynormous crowd in the Folkiedome tonite. The line stretches back past race Row and is heavily weighted with gorgeous people. Natural Sellout (no enhancements) for the first time in as long as I can remember. Notify the CDC because it appears Crab Fever has broken out in Mayberry. A celebrity blast from the past with us, the original “On the floor, serving us all” girl, Cheryl, is here, with her son no less. Welcome back to her. We got some Hinckys and some Facial Shotters. Chainsaw Sisters field their biggest team in a long while, dragging a couple of Virgins into the fray. The Sapphire Racing League overwhelms Race Row with a Powell Doctrine. This is their third Race, so they come off of Probation to legitimize their lead in the standings. There’s not an empty seat in the house, they’re even sitting at the Speaker Table. Only two things can draw a crowd like that, one is U2, and that means the other has to be-
Superhero Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Pepe LePew/Paris
2) Alan Shepherd
3) Citizen Kane
4) Saturday
5) John Dillinger
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Jen
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #17 When I Was Young I Got to Bed By Ten And Home By Eleven- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)
2) Winner- #1 Racer Boy- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)
3) Winner- #22 Sophia- Molly
4) Winner- #42 Beijing Penguin- CSR
5) Winner- #0 Is It Possible For A Crab To Catch A Case Of The Humans?- CSR
6) Winner- #46 Caligula- Sapphire Racing Team (SRL)
7) Winner- #55 Greybeard The Pirate. Blow Me Now, I Mean Down- COF
8) Winner- #99 Casey The Cum Guzzling Gutter Slut- SRL
Halftime:
Some of this. This as well
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #50 Oliver Twist. I Love Good Dickens- COF
Halftime Entries:
Not Tonite Baby (not even any Fockers)
10) Winner- #26 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Aaron
11) Winner- #40 Tallywhacker Toucher- Team Hincky (TH)
12) Winner- #76 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- TH
13) Winner- #81 Shithead- SRL
14) Winner- #20 Obamessiah- CSR
15) Winner- #34 Don’t Trust The Ho Because The Ho Don’t Trust You- SRL
16) Winner- #15 Barbie Millicent Roberts- SRL
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #17 When I Was Young I Got to Bed By Ten And Home By Eleven- Crabby Old Pharts
2) Winner- #26 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Aaron
3) Winner- #55 Greybeard The Pirate. Blow Me Now, I Mean Down- Crabby Old Pharts
4) Winner- #99 Casey The Cum Guzzling Gutter Slut- Sapphire Racing Team
Your Host- Steve Schrader
Behind the Bar- Ricky Four Inch
In the Kitchen- Thursday Night Shane
On the Floor, SERVING US ALL!!!- Rhonda
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #26 Abe Froman, The Sausage King Of Chicago- Aaron
Third Place- A High Quality Tee Shirt- #55 Greybeard The Pirate. Blow Me Now, I Mean Down- Crabby Old Pharts
Second Place- $20- #99 Casey The Cum Guzzling Gutter Slut- Sapphire Racing Team
First Place- $30- #17 When I Was Young I Got to Bed By Ten And Home By Eleven- Crabby Old Pharts
Time:
Plus Eight
What a night! The Skunk, the Shark, Dinosaurs, Superheroes, this show had it all! The Crabs go Plus Eight because they just didn’t want to go home. Abe Froman gets to the Finals for the second time in three weeks. The Sapphires add to their lead with a Second. A Crabby Old Phart takes Third with the Dirk Diggler of Crabs and a Crabby Young Phart gets a Corvette and First Place. This is the second Corvette in a row for Folkie’s, but with two different Crabs. Good luck picking Friday in Hoagland!
The Crabs return to Branson Street on the 18th. Pick ‘em at 7:30, race ‘em at 8:00. Here’s one more from the lads and as always, until then, he’s Sonny Starr!
Ciao for nao
djjj