Football Crab Racing- Folkie’s 11/12

Chimichanga Cheeseyburrito!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos. Getting toward that time of year. The Chainsaw Sisters Racing Team breaks their
Summer Camp up north and returns to civilization for another winter of racing. Seventeen seasons. Seems like yesterday we were sitting at the Sisters’ bar, drinking a Pig’s Eye and explaining Crab Racing to the television crew from Duluth. One of them there long, strange trips. I’ve been working on a Steely Dan thing. It’s about wrapped up, I’ll let you know when it’s done. So I’ve sprinkled some Dan links throughout for your entertainment. I know it’s been at least a year since I said this, but it bears repeating. I have 7.9 hours of Steely Dan on my mp3 player. 100 songs. I can put it on shuffle and I guarantee I’ll never hear a bad song.

A rainy night in Mayberry for this week’s round of Football Crab Racing. Four of the top five teams are in the room. Facial Shot and The Saints are tied for First and they’re joined by the Third Place Pharts and the Fifth Place Fockers (who are still mathematically in contention). Team Hincky has a nice group and the Lost Gilligan Team even manages to muster some representation. Race Row is full, and the rest of the crowd fills in nicely behind them. Not a big group, but they do a fair job nonetheless. Our Hosts, Steve and The Original Sarah are tearing up the Trivia from the Skyboxes, Ricky Four Inch is behind the Bar. Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen and Rhonda’s on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!! Here’s one more tune before I have to ask, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME-

Football Crab Racing-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:

1) On The Waterfront- Tee Shirt (TS)
2) Henry Fonda- Jagermeister Lanyard (LL)
3) James Thorpe (but yous can call me Jim)- Hat (HAT)
4) Knute Rockne- Koozie (KZ)
5) Tiber- Playing Cards (PC)

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Nikki

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #28 Lick MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- HAT

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #95 Thurston Gives Lovey The Three Hour Tour- Lost Gilligan Racing (LGR)- LL
3) Winner- #0 Lil’ Punkin- Debbie- TS
4) Winner- #25 Fax Like A Champ- FSR
5) Winner- #50 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs! Wanna Come?- Nikki (yes, that Nikki)- LL
6) Winner- #73 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
7) Winner- #7 Oliver Twist. I Love Good Dickens- Crabby Old Pharts (COF)- Beads (MGB)
8) Winner- #76 My Crabs Spread Faster Than These- Team Hincky (TH)- Purple Condom (PR)

Halftime:
Some of this. Some of this.

102-107

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #36 Peter Gozinia- Goondock Saints racing (GSR)- MGB

Halftime Entries:
Seven

10) Winner- #82 Geovany ROY- FF- Keychain Bottle Opener (KBO)
11) Winner- #59 Cletus PBR- Sara- Orange Condom (OC)

The Wave

12) Winner- #96 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF- KBO
13) Winner- #44 Swussy- GSR
14) Winner- #90 Matt’s Grandma Gave Me The Crabs- GSR- FJB
15) Winner- #11 Shell Turd- PW- LL
16) Winner- #75 Nashty- FSR- FJB

Goodbye Losers:

Schoolhouse Rock Semifinals:
1) Winner- #44 Swussy- Goondock Saints Racing
2) Winner- #73 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- Folkie’s Fockers
3) Winner- #59 Cletus PBR- Sara
4) Winner- #75 Nashty- Facial Shot Racing

Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #73 Don’t Eat The Clowns, They Taste Funny- Folkie’s Fockers
Third Place- T-Shirt- #75 Nashty- Facial Shot Racing
Second Place- $20 in Folkie’s Bucks (The Next Best Thing To Free)- #59 Cletus PBR- Sara
First Place- $30 in Folkie’s Bucks (Ditto)- #44 Swussy- Goondock Saints Racing

Time:
Minus One

Ashley nails down the first win of the year for the Goondock Saints Racing Team, Sara gets second with #59, and Facial Shot gets Third with #75. The win gives GSR the points lead with 48, Facial Shot picks up 2 to stay in Second with 44, and the Crabby Old Farts hold at 38 for Third Place. A rare Schoolhouse Rock Semifinal tonight. Make sure you go back and play some of those, they’re quite good.

Here’s one more from Steely Dan. I’ll let you know when the concert’s done. The Crabs come back to Folkie’s on the 26th for a big Thanksgiving Eve show. Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.

Ciao for nao
j

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