Hoy Hoy!
Greetings form Casa dos Gatos.
A completely whacky evening in the Friendly Confines. Slow Eaters. Lost Disc Players. No Music. Messed up demographics. If it was going wrong, it picked tonite to do it. The place seemed empty when I got there but ended up being nicely filled with a fine looking crowd. Capital K is back from New England and joins Julio, Mandy, Maggie, and a large number of Marion’s best and brightest. Facial Shot, Crustacean Sensations, Team Hincky, Folkie’s Fockers, a smattering of Goondockers, and the Good Doctors from Triple A G fill out an evening seemingly bereft of Unaffiliated Racers.
We were able to get squared away and after starting a few minutes late, the show went pretty well. Country & Western First Half (the old Train Show) and a sort of “best of” in the second. Check the links, I think you’ll like it.
Our Hosts, The Schraders, Occupying the Skyboxes, Ricky Four Inch behind the Bar, Thursday Night Shane is in the Kitchen, and Rhonda is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Hand me a Bible and wrap my ass in a flag, it’s-
Crab Racing USA-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Hawaii
2) Paul Revere
3) Twelve
4) Bedtime For Bonzo
5) Rob
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Mandy
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #46 Go To Lunch. Go To Lunch. Will You Go. To. Lunch!- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- SC Super Crab. The House Crab (more about him later)
3) Winner- #16 Lick My NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
4) Winner- #75 My Crabs Sprint Faster Than These- Team Hincky (TH)
5) Winner- #30 Jean Clawed Van Damme- Crustacean Sensations (CS)
6) Winner- #45 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married. THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- FF
7) Winner- #17 Poke Her In The Ear So She Can Hear You Coming- FSR
8) Winner- #0 I’m Only Four Inches But Some Girls Like It That Thick- FF
Halftime:
Some of this. And then, of course, this
Second Half
9) Winner- #41 Don’t Eat Clowns. They Taste Funny- FF
Halftime Entries:
A few
(Right back at ya):
10) Winner- #50 Cont Muscle- TH
11) Winner- #97 Red Headed Slut- CS
The Wave
12) Winner- #55 Who’s Crab Is This? It’s Chris’ Crab-TH
13) Winner- #71 Hesop Choi. NO FUKUDOMU!!!- FF
14) Winner- #65 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Num Num Num Num- American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists (AAAG)
15) Winner- #74 Matt Hughes Has Crabs- TH
16) Winner- #10 Danny Gave Me Herpes- FSR
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #46 Go To Lunch. Go To Lunch. Will You Go. To. Lunch!- Folkie’s Fockers
2) Winner- #65 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Num Num Num Num- American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists
3) Winner- #17 Poke Her In The Ear So She Can Hear You Coming- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- #75 My Crabs Sprint Faster Than These- Team Hincky
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #65 I’m Going To Have To Numb That. Num Num Num Num- American Association Of Amateur Gynecologists
Third Place- T-Shirt- #17 Poke Her In The Ear So She Can Hear You Coming- Facial Shot Racing
Second Place- $20- #75 My Crabs Sprint Faster Than These- Team Hincky
First Place- $30- #46 Go To Lunch. Go To Lunch. Will You Go. To. Lunch!- Folkie’s Fockers
Time:
Minus One
Craig gets three Trivia Questions, leads four Fockers into the Semis, takes a Mythical Corvette without even sweating, and I think he might have gotten a billable hour in there just for good measure. Congratulations to the Crustacean Sensations. They log their third race in a row and are Officially Sanctioned and will receive Double Points from here on out. Speaking of Sanctions. The Hinckys get their Second Race and their First Podium. And finally, a rare Finals Appearance by the Good Doctors. Well done.
The Crabs return to Marion on September 3rd. Line forms in the rear, somewhere around seven-thirty. Hope you can join us, until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j