Baseball Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Elephant
2) Baltimore Colts
3) Ozzie & Harriet
4) Skull Island
5) Riverdale
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- One of the Goondockers (sorry about that)
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #22 One In The Etc…- Goondock Saints Racing (GSR)
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #45 Clitoris Faq The Yankees- ???
3) Winner- #41 Chicago Crabs- Dean
4) Winner- #01 Cock Block- GSR
5) Winner- Super Folkie, The House Crab
6) Winner- #21 One In The Hairy, Yadda Yadda Yadda- GSR
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #51 Lick MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)
8) Winner- #35 I Said I’ll Kiss You On The Strikes If You’ll Kiss Me On The Balls- Folkie’s Fockers (FF)
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #55 Crabby Bitch- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing (TBS)
Halftime Entries:
Yep
10) Winner- #74 Boiler Crab- Rob
11) Winner- #97 Come Johnny My Bench- TBS
The Wave
12) Winner- #3 Caligula- GSR
13) Winner- #44 I’m Throwing A Party Between My Legs. Wanna Come?- FSR
14) Winner- #64 Too Pumped Chuck?- GSR
15) Winner- #4 You Faq Her. No. You Faq Her, You Brought Her- GSR
16) Winner- #60 I’m A Hard habit To Break- FF
Goodbye Losers:
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #55 Crabby Bitch- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
2) Winner- #64 Too Pumped Chuck?- Goondock Saints Racing
3) Winner- #51 Lick MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- #01 Cock Block- Goondock Saints Racing
Some Outstanding Individuals-
Ricky Four Inch- Behind the Bar
Thursday Night Shane- In the Kitchen
Steve Schrader- Your Crab Racing Host
And on the Tarmac, SERVING US ALL!!! Rhonda.
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of the Crab Racing Documentary- “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #64 Too Pumped Chuck?- Goondock Saints Racing
Third Place- A Top Quality Tee Shirt- #55 Crabby Bitch- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
Second Place- $20 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“The next best thing to free”)- #01 Cock Block- Goondock Saints Racing
First Place- $90 Worth of Folkie’s Bucks (“Ditto”)- #51 LICK MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing
Time:
Minus One
Beautiful night under the stars. Those of you that are paying attention will note that Buddha took home $30 Bucks back on April 2nd with the same Crab on the same Board. Welcome back to the Races and welcome back to the Podium, Mike and those tight-ass Banjo Stringers. Good to see you back (and you front).
The Crabs return to The Friendly Confines on June the 28th on a board that is yet to be determined. Weather permitting, we’ll be outside with Al (Fresco). Until then, he’s Sonny Starr.
Ciao for nao
j