Hoy Hoy!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Sorry we missed you at Hulio’s Saturday night, we were downtown at a 50th birthday party for a friend and ran out of gas around midnight. I believe that makes me next in the AARP eligible set. I don’t remember who said it, but “I would have taken better care of myself if I’d known I was going to be around this long”.
A beautiful evening in Fort Wayne this Monday. In fact, my sidekick and I took advantage of the nice weather and dined au fresco. Which sounds very elegant, until you find out it was the Rally’s on Coldwater near Northcrest. But that still doesn’t detract from the excellent vibe of the evening. The Billiard Café is a very nice venue. Straight in the doors to an elevated u-shaped bar flanked on either side by a very nice expanse of green felt. I’ll be honest, anytime I’ve been in a pool room, it was very, very smoky. I didn’t realize how green billiard tables were.
An exceedingly handsome crowd for a an Opening Night on a Monday. I don’t know the bulk of them, but they’ll become more familiar as time goes by. It was good to see a representative of the Dick Stillhard Racing Team in attendance. DSR is based in Fort Wayne, but is a frequent visitor to the Wednesday Night Races at Folkie’s in Marion. By the quality of the audience participation, it would appear that some of these folks aren’t Virgins to Crab Racing. That’s nice, it’s kind of lonely when I’m the only one doing the callback. Bob’s signing the checks and is right up front on Race Row. Melissa is your Mixologist this evening. Jesse’s in the kitchen, and Linn is on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!! Just like Bonnie, we’re holding out. Thank God it’s-
Superhero Crab Racing-
PreRace:
Rules To Live With And Abide By
Trivia Answers:
1) Long Branch Saloon
2) Aesop
3) Albatross
4) Pitchfork
5) Shirley Temple
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Brooke
They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell
Preliminaries:
First Half:
1) Winner- #41 Clinger- Dawn
Starting Lineup
2) Winner- #51 Dipshit- Carrie
3) Winner- #97 I’m Wearing Edible Underwear- Shannon
4) Winner- #27 She’s Talking Again- Brian
5) Winner- #0 Penelope- Brooke
6) Winner- SuperCrab- Bob “Mother Fruckin’” Sanders- Lutz
7) Winner- #60 I Just Fell Off Of Lynn- Bob
8) Winner- #63 Spidey- Danny
Halftime:
Some of this.
Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- Super Junior- Special Ed
Halftime Entries:
Six (Half a dozen)
10) Winner- #2 Snappy- Dean
11) Winner- #35 Eiffel- Shannon
The Wave
12) Winner- #36 I An Sancho- Tom
13) Winner- #72 Brian- Melanie
14) Winner- #25 Mini Wop- Tony
15) Winner- #64 Chance, The Clinging Crotch Critter- Morgan
16) Winner- #4 Guido– John
Semifinals:
1) Winner- #0 Penelope- Brooke
2) Winner- #51 Dipshit- Carrie
3) Winner- #97 I’m Wearing Edible Underwear- Shannon
4) Winner- #63 Spidey- Danny
Finals
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (plus a super-keen copy of the Crab Racing Documentary “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s” starring Sonny Starr, Cowboy Jack Kelly, and a cast of dozens)- #97 I’m Wearing Edible Underwear- Shannon
Third Place- $15- #0 Penelope- Brooke
Second Place- $20- #51 Dipshit- Carrie
First Place- $25 #63 Spidey- Danny
Time:
Money
#51 comes into the evening 15 for April and what do you know, he loses two. The first Race was easy to explain. He got caught at the bottom of a Crab Pile and by the time he got out it was too late. The Finals were another matter. More psychological. I’m thinking that you don’t pick the Fastest Crab In The World and then name him Dipshit. These are Professional Racing Crabs, they’ve got their pride.
Crab Racing returns to the Billiard Café on Cinco de Mayo. Keep an eye on the “Catch The Crabs” section on the sidebar and we may clue you in on the Theme for the evening. Or maybe not, you never know. Pick ‘em at Seven Thirty, Race ‘em at Eight.
Ciao for nao
j