Crab Racing USA- Marion 1/23

Hoy Hoy!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Man! I can’t believe I’m three weeks behind. I’m gonna make some stuff up because my notes are crap.


It appears GSR showed up with a nice mob. I believe this makes Consecutive Race #2 for Bacon & Robots Racing. One more week until they’re Sanctioned. A rare Andrea sighting, in the Skyboxes for the First Half. Had to put up a little Beck in her honor. Mike & Sheila up on The Row along with our old friend Paul. Been a couple of years since we’ve been graced with Paul’s presence. Angie and the Twins sitting at a table in the Midfield. Steve and Darnell calling the shots. Rob behind the Bar, Thursday Night Shane in the Kitchen, and The Amazing Amy on the floor, SERVING US ALL!!!. Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise. Because it’s-

Crab Racing USA-

PreRace:

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Basil Rathbone- Tee Shirt (TS)
2) Lake Superior- Bottle Opener (BO)
3) King Kong- Hat (HAT)
4) Four Hundred Dollars- Power Pal Magic Jar Opener (MG)
5) Astrodome- TS

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Lindsey- The Grippler

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:

1) Winner- #4 Muff Diver- Goondock Saints Racing (GSR)- TS

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #85 What Happens In The Aquarium Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)- MG
3) Winner- #?? Honest Officer, I Was Only Helping That Sheep Over The Fence- GSR- Mardi Gras Beads (MGB)
4) Winner- #19 Suck Me Dry And Call Me Dusty- Brandon- Love Leash (LL)
5) Winner- #44 Flash- The Outlaws- A Croissant
6) Winner- #88 She Told Me She Wasn’t Married THAT LYIN’ BITCH!!!- Folkie’s Fokkers
7) Winner- #57 Crabtron 9000- Bacon And Robots (BNR)- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
8) Winner- #52 Can’t Fackin’ Believe The Whole Thing- GSR- Mouse Pad (MP)

Halftime:
Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #68 Feather Ass- Sheila- MG

Halftime Entries:
Can’t Recall

10) Winner- #47 Crusty- GSR- FJB
11) Winner- #36 Wilma Fingerdieux- Michael- LL

The Wave

109-116

12) Winner- #26 Caligula- GSR- MGB
13) Winner- #5 Lucy- BNR- FJB
14) Winner- #11 Fack The Pats- BNR- MG
15) Winner- #34 Lizard- The Outlaws- LL
16) Winner- #14 Lightning Loser- Tony- FJB

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #4 Muff Diver- Goondock Saints Racing
2) Winner- #85 What Happens In The Aquarium Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing
3) Winner- #36 Wilma Fingerdieux- Michael
4) Winner- #26 Caligula- Goondock Saints Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done- #36 Wilma Fingerdieux- Michael
Third Place- T-Shirt- #26 Caligula- Goondock Saints Racing
Second Place- $20- #4 Muff Diver- Goondock Saints Racing
First Place- $30- #85 What Happens In The Aquarium Stays In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing

Time:
Minus Ten

Would you look at that. Chainsaw Sisters successfully defends the Title. Way to run boss. Goondockers fill out the Podium and the Crabs post a blistering Minus Ten. Lindsey proves if you’re going to be a surly Flagholder, you can throw Flagholder Luck right out the window.

The Racin’ Crustaceans will return to the Friendly Confines on February 6th. Brickyard Crab Racing will be the night’s theme. Great Bonus- First Wednesday means Fourth Place gets a movie! Pick ‘em at Seven Thirty, Race ‘em at Eight. See you there.

Ciao for nao
j

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