Crab Racing USA Christmas Spectacular- Marion 12/12

Hoy Hoy!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos! Got a couple of days off so I’m doing a little stomping around the compound, clearing some ice, feeding the wildlife, and generally soaking up the brisk winter air.

A beautiful night here at the friendly confines. Big crowd shows up for our first natural sellout since the first race in August. What a combo- the Crab Racing USA Christmas Spectacular as well as Opening Night for the Winter Season. Welcome back to my teammate Whita Sita and our Chainsaw Sisters Racing Team. My wonderful friend Julio showed up. Three or four years since I’ve seen that kid. She was holding down the midfield table with a good group of buds. Facial Shot had a nice size Krewe in the near window. Susan and associates in the far window and the return of the Banjo Stringers with a group on the west end of the bar. Craig and The Original Sarah and Darnell in the Skyboxes. The Goondock Saints Racing team were ten to twelve deep on the Eastside of the table. Gina and Scott sitting opposite Sonny on Race Row and Pat, Andy, and Cat the Flagholder were next anti-clockwise. Whita rounded out the Front Row sitting to Sonny’s immediate left (remember, you’ll have to speak up). We were also honored with a lone Fister, Salty Balls and all.

The X-men from Xavier knocked down their cross-town rivals, Cincinnati, 64-59 and Sonny went on the record with a prediction of a Divisional 3rd place for the Cubbies in ’08. Steve layin’ on the charm. Ricky Four Inch behind the bar. Thursday Night Shane in the Kitchen. And Rhonda on the floor, serving us all. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, because it’s-

Crab Racing USA Christmas Spectacular

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And this. And there’s always this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) Mary Hartman- Potted Meat (PM)
2) Honolulu- Cracker Jack (CJ)
3) Colonel Henry Blake- PM
4) Sam Houston- CJ
5) Pinkerton Agency- PM

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flag Holder- Cat- #67 Oscar

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #52 Snatchy LaRue- Susan- Puzzle

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #46 Little Wop- Julio- Ornament Bubble Necklace (OBN)
3) Winner- #93 Facker. No, You Facker, You Brought Her- Goondock Saints Racing (GSR)- OBN
4) Winner- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- OBN
5) Winner- #71 George- FSR- PM
6) Winner- #22 LICK MY NUTS!!!- FSR- Puzzle
7) Winner- #9 What Happens In The Aquarium Stay In The Aquarium- Chainsaw Sisters Racing (CSR)- OBN
8) Winner- #48 Holden Johnson- GSR

Halftime:
Some of this. Some of this.

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #12 I’m Not A Lesbian, I’m A Vagiterian- GSR- OBN

Halftime Entries:
Nope

10) Winner- #47 Frosty, The I Need A Snow Blower Snowman- FSR
11) Winner- #69 Oscar- GSR- CJ

The Wave

12) Winner- #76 Honest Officer I Was Only Helping That Sheep Over The Fence- GSR- Keychain (KC)

13) Winner- #17 Hotter Than Two Fellows Fackin’ In A Fur Coat- GSR-
14) Winner- #91 Jingle My Balls, I Hear They’re Salty- Twisted Fister Racing (TFR)- Puzzle
15) Winner- #85 Come Dumpster- FSR-
16) Winner- #28 Lucky- Ryan- KC

Goodbye Losers

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #12 I’m Not A Lesbian, I’m A Vagiterian- Goondock Saints Racing
2) Winner- #47 Frosty, The I Need A Snow Blower Snowman- Facial Shot Racing
3) Winner- #93 Facker. No, You Facker, You Brought Her- Goondock Saints Racing
4) Winner- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (as well as a copy of the feature length motion picture “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #93 Facker. No, You Facker, You Brought Her- Goondock Saints Racing
Third Place- T-Shirt- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
Second Place- $20- #12 I’m Not A Lesbian, I’m A Vagiterian- Goondock Saints Racing
First Place- $30- #47 Frosty, The I Need A Snow Blower Snowman- Facial Shot Racing

Time:
Minus Six

First two races as well as the final one go to Independent Racers and the Teams take everything else. Facial Shot and the G-Saints split the booty in a great night of racing. Big enthusiastic crowd with a lot of experience. These people know how to race Crabs.

Racing returns to Branson Street on the 26th, Theme yet to be determined. Ought to be a great night. Like I said, Marion hasn’t had entertainment like this since they closed the R Club. See you there!

Ciao for nao
j

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