Beers Of The World Crab Racing (banjo style)

Hoy Hoy!!
Greetings from Casa dos Gatos.

Faith, fear, and reason are the rock, paper, and scissors of human existence

-Eddie L.

Been a while since we had a “Great Quotes From South Marion” entry. That one’s Number 35. I really don’t recall what wrenched that thought from Ed’s twisted brain, but I’ll bet it involved tequila.

Me and Marph went over to West LA last week to help Capital K move. We actually moved her on Friday, but she wanted us to come over Thursday night to go to a bar she frequents. Every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, the Piano Man plays at a pub called the Rusty Bucket (it’s actually inside of another, much larger bar called the Neon Cactus). Anyway, this guy is top notch. A fairly huge room and he makes the place rock. Requests all night long. Guns ‘n Roses, Elton John, Neil Diamond, Sugar Hill, pretty much anything you could want. Audience participation on steroids. We’ll have to put it on the agenda.

Hot hot hot at the Races this week. Good size crowd. Not as packed as the last race, but a natural sellout nonetheless. The Banjo Stringers were out in full force with Mike, Leslie, Another Anna, and Steve-O anchoring a large group on Race Row. Jeremy, Kristy (Wi Wo), Keith, Robert, Matt, and some more of their crew took up the east wall and I think they even had some people scattered around elsewhere. Facial Shot showed up with a decent group, nice to see those guys again. Kind of a Mini Fister team tonite off to my northwest. At the west end of the bar were Liam and his wife, in from Ireland, and Lyndsey seemed to be in charge of a fair size group of unaffiliated racers in the Skyboxes at the east end. Steve callin’ balls and strikes. Rob behind the bar. Nelia in the kitchen. Rhonda on the floor, serving us all. It’s been a while, but I think it’s finally time for-

Beers Of The World Crab Racing-

PreRace:
Some of this. And this. And this.

Rules To Live With And Abide By

Trivia Answers:
1) The Organ Player- The Original Cracker Jack (OCJ)
2) I Am Curious (Yellow)- Jagermeister Hat (JMH)
3) Billy The Kid- OCJ
4) Columbia- JMH
5) Peter Pan- OCJ

National Anthem (fourth verse) (New Link)
Flagholder- Another Anna- #80 I Said Bud Light, Not Butt Light!

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Preliminaries
First Half:

1) Winner- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)- Total
Consciousness

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #67 Tacate Hottie Wi Wo Wita- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
(TBS)- Love Leash (LL)
3) Winner- #80 No, I Said Bud Light, Not Butt Light- TBS- A VanBibber Koozie
(VBK)
4) Winner- #55 Best Ride In The Park- FSR- Flashing Jagermeister Button (FJB)
5) Winner- #57 Anal Annihilator- Curt- Potted Meat (PM)
6) Winner- #85 Ol’ Blue Eyes- Frank- FJB
7) Winner- – Super Folkie- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!- More about him later
8) Winner- #8 Wilma Fingerdo- Michael- VBK

Halftime:
Some of this.

121-102

Second Half (Right back at ya):
9) Winner- #70 Buttwiper- TBS- More of the same

Halftime Entries:
Not tonite

10) Winner- #31 Lazy Larry- TBS- Potted Meat
11) Winner- #77 Lick MY NUTS!!!- FSR- OCJ
12) Winner- #19 Barry Bonds Couldn’t Carry Hee-Seop Choi’s Jock- Folkie’s Fokkers (FF)- LL 13) Winner- #99 Les You, More Me- TBS- LL
14) Winner- #16 I’d Be Faster If My Dick Wasn’t Draggin’- Jay- FJB

The Wave

15) Winner- #5 Fiery Bush- Twisted Fister Racing (TFR)- LL
16) Winner- #76 Poke Her In The Ear So She’ll Here You Coming- FSR- FJB

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
2) Winner- #31 Lazy Larry- Tighter Than A Banjo String Racing
3) Winner- #77 Lick MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing
4) Winner- #8 Wilma Fingerdo- Michael

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done – #31 Lazy Larry- Tighter Than A
Banjo String Racing
Third Place- T-shirt- #96 Facks Like A Champ- Facial Shot Racing
Second Place- $20 # Wilma Fingerdo- Michael
First Place- $30 #77 Lick MY NUTS!!!- Facial Shot Racing

Time:
Minus Three

Crab Racing’s own little bit of diversity, Kenny Mac was in from Cali to join us. I don’t think the crowd realized the greatness that they were in the presence of. Hammer Time! Always a pleasure to see Kenny. Get on my last nerve indeed!

The Stringers led the way with five heat wins, an excellent effort by Facial Shot with four, and the Fisters and Fokkers get one apiece. We had a dead heat for Third in the finals, so we had a run off to decide it.

Sonny’s got some thing going on on the 22nd, so no races until September 5th. I’ll dig thru the archives and clean up the links on an old issue and post it for the next one. Not much else going on. We’ll probably get to PdG over Labor Day. Maybe we’ll see you then.

In the words of Madeline Kahn– “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.

Ciao for nao
j

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