Superhero Crab Racing

Chimichaunga Cheesy Burrito!

So here it is. The technical, if not climatological start to the summer season. Chainsaw Sisters heads to the Summer Compound and the Gilligans and Bradys and AAAGs return. Hopefully you can make it down a few times this summer to get out the CSR hats and run for the team. Also, keep me posted on any Saturdays that you guys don’t have a gig and we’ll make it a point to get to Elkhart, if they’re running.

Nice nice crowd. Facial Shot had a big group in the corner at the Loud Table. There were three guys at the Jukebox Table. Our Flagholder Meghan and her friend were in the Skyboxes at the bar, along with Jeff and a Non-racing Gary. Janet had a group in the Field Level Boxes to my left. And although I didn’t see her, The Original Sarah had a group toward the window. I believe there was at least one more table back there as well. Jim and Brenda with Patty in their usual on Race Row. And Rance separated them from the Kokomo group (Annie and Gina’s Krewe), which filled out the rest of Race Row. Lori behind the bar. Nelia in the kitchen. Rhonda on the floor. Steve driving the bus. And me? I got a pocketful of Kryptonite, ‘cause it’s-

Superhero Crab Racing

PreRace:

Trivia Answers:
1) Marcel Marceau- Energy Drink
2) Ear- Potted Meat (PM)
3) Hal Holbrook- Reese’s Big Cup (Caramel & Nuts)
4) Scotland- PM
5) Colony- Energy Drink

National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Meghan- #40 Mr Crabs

They’re Off and They’re Haulin’ Shell

Intro:

Preliminaries

First Half:
1) Winner- #25 Sweet Spot- Twisted Fister Racing Team (TFR)- Butterfinger

Starting Lineup

2) Winner- #40 Mr Crabs- Meghan- Reese’s Cups
3) Winner- #28 Hole Shot- TFR-
Flashing Jagermeister Button (Red, not green)
4) Winner- #50 Dammit Jim (Later changed to “Dammit Jim, You Stupid Bastard” in a cheap attempt to ride the ‘bastard’ wave into the finals)- Brenda- Keychain
5) Winner- #85 Pimp Daddy- Facial Shot Racing (FSR)-
Take Five
6) Winner- #12 Lawman’s Lady- FSR
7) Winner- – Super Folkie (Won race #7 two weeks ago)- RECEIVES NO PRIZE!!!
8) Winner- #97 Donna Martin Graduates- Folkies Fokkers (FF)- Pen/Hiliter

Halftime:

Second Half:
9) Winner- #00 Little Bastard- Jeff- Pen

114-123

Halftime Entries:
I don’t believe so.

10) Winner- #52 Move You Lazy Bastard- Jim- Reese’s Cups
11) Winner- #1 LICK MY N*TS!!!!- FSR- Flashing Jagermeister Button
12) Winner- #41 Why Does This Chocolate Pudding TASTE LIKE SHET!!!- FSR- Keychain
13) Winner- #13 Lefty– Alex
14) Winner- #26 Baby Girl- Janet- Flashing Jagermeister Button (Janet was very excited about this)
15) Winner- #74 Leapin’ Levitra© Larry- TFR
16) Winner- #39
Honey My Hip Hurts– Gary- Reese’s Cups

Goodbye Losers:

Semifinals:
1) Winner- #00 Little Bastard- Jeff
2) Winner- #52 Move You Lazy Bastard- Jim
3) Winner- #28 Hole Shot– Twisted Fister Racing
4) Winner- #39 Honey My Hip Hurts- Gary

Finals

Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- Hearty Wave and A Well Done (Plus a copy of “The Night The Lights Went Out At Folkie’s”)- #39 Honey My Hip Hurts- Gary
Third Place- T-Shirt- #28 Hole Shot- Twisted Fister Racing
Second Place- $20- #52 Move You Lazy Bastard- Jim
First Place- $30- #00 Little Bastard- Jeff

Time:
Minus five

Nice touch on the finish, the Crabs win the Semis in the order of finish in the Finals. Those are some smart Crabs. A new team coalesces on Race Row. Annie and Gina’s (never, never) Kokomo Krewe forms Twisted Fister Racing. They won a couple of races, got on the Podium, and from the names of their Crabs, it appears they understand the intent, and more importantly, have the ability to debase themselves with the best of us. Good to have ‘em aboard.

Moms and Pops are getting home this weekend I believe, so we should be opening up soon. Fill me in on your schedule and I’ll post your gigs here on the blog. Space Crab Racing on the Second of May. Cinco de Martha is actually on Saturday this year. Maybe we can work a Dorothy’s performance into the festivities.

I’ll catch you later and in the words of Madeline Kahn– “If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.

Ciao for nao
j

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