Hoy Hoy!! Greetings from Casa Dos Gatos!
Hope everything’s well up that way. Had a gorgeous afternoon working in the yard today. Not many of those left.
Started reading that Abbey you just returned. About thirty pages into old Henry H Lightcap and we’ve got a shot refrigerator, a half eaten loaf of bread, an empty bottle of Wild Turkey, and Mahler on the record player. This guy sure could write some colorful stuff.
Baseball Crab Racing tonight. It seems appropriate, with today being the 33rd anniversary of the Cubs trading Ferguson Jenkins to the Rangers. Oh yeah, they’re playing the world series this week too.
Decent crowd. Andrea was there with a couple of people. Suzy Darter from Marion Tire was there also. And we also had a visit from the “King of Doo-Wop” Dave Homer.
Funniest thing happened while we were getting ready to start. A candidate for local office walks in, and says that he’s got this money that he got from Abramoff, and he has been trying to return it, but Jack won’t return his calls. We suggested he call the FBI, as Abramoff seems to be spending a lot of time over there.
Well he says he doesn’t have time for that now and Steve suggests that he sponsor The Races. He asks how much and Steve tells him $500 to sponsor, plus the race prizes (Steve threw in the t-shirt as part of the sponsorship fee). So he gives Steve 500 and the guy picks a Crab which he names “Sweet November”, whatever that means. He parks in a Skybox at the bar and we’re ready to rock.
Sonny starts trivia and somebody at the window table answers the first question. The Candidate jumps off his stool and delivers a fresh $100 bill to the winner. Another question, another $100 bill. Pretty cool, huh. So we get through trivia, which is a lot more competitive when you’re playing for hundreds, and the Candidate is up to $1000 and he’s pumped. We do the Star Spangled Banner and it’s off to the races. As you can see in the recap, the prize money stayed the same for the Preliminary Heats. He also gave prizes for the Semis and threw $200 in on top of a bottle of wine on the tip board. We got to the finals and the Candidate had a thousand left.
Steve driving the bus, Rick behind the bar, Nelia in the kitchen, Rhonda on the floor, and me? I’m the beautiful man in the corner with the ugly beer (or vice-versa)
Baseball Crab Racing
PreRace:
Trivia Answers:
1) Gunsmoke- $100
2) Gone With the Wind- $100
3) Peru (the other Peru)- $100
4) Willie Mays- $100
5) Washington- $100
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- The Candidate- #75 Sweet November
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- #0 F*cks Like a Champ- Katherine Harris- $100
2) Winner- #10 You Want a Blow Job? I Bet You Do- Mark Foley- $100
3) Winner- #75 Sweet November- The Candidate (Flagholder)- $100
4) Winner- #3 Slow Screw- Denny Hastert- $100
5) Winner- #36 Stupid Turd- Conrad Burns- $100
6) Winner- #14 These Crabs Are Giving Me the Schlitz – Randy ‘Duke’ Cunningham- $100
Seventh Inning Stretch
7) Winner- #61 Sometimes I Wake Up Horny an Sometimes I Let Him Sleep (SIWUHASILHS)- William Jefferson- $100
8) Winner- #89 Stop Battering Women. Eat Them Raw- Don Sherwood- Pen
Halftime:
Second Half:
9) Winner- #99 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Ralph Reed- $100
106-102- $200 and a bottle of wine
Halftime Entries:
#45 Bite Me Where It Counts- Rick Renzi
10) Winner- #2 (race 10 winner last week as well) Al- Ted Stevens- $100
11) Winner- #71 Hey Popeye, Don’t Eat That Spinach- Ken Mehlman- $100
12) Winner- #90 I’m Here For the Orgy- George Allen- $100
13) Winner- #51 Vaginetarian- Jean Schmidt- $100
14) Winner- #76 F*ck Her, I Did- Tom Reynolds- $100
15) Winner- #96 You’ve Got the Whitest Teeth I’ve Ever Come Across- Bob Ney- $100
16) Winner- #24 Hopeful- Tom DeLay- $100
Goodbye Losers:
All Disco Semifinals:
1) Winner- #99 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Ralph Reed- $100
2) Winner- #14 These Crabs Are Giving Me the Schlitz- Randy ‘Duke’ Cunningham- $100
3) Winner- #61 (SIWUHASILHS)- William Jefferson- $100
4) Winner- #3 Slow Screw- Denny Hastert- $100
Finals
Time:
Minus four
Order of Merit:
Fourth Place- $100 and a HW&AWD – #99 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Ralph Reed
Third Place- $100 and a T-Shirt- #3 Slow Screw– Denny Hastert
Second Place- $300- #61 (SIWUHASILHS)- William Jefferson
First Place- $500- #14 These Crabs Are Giving Me the Schlitz– Randy ‘Duke’ Cunningham
Excellent evening of racing. All I can say is anyone who wasn’t there should have been. You never know what you’re going to miss! Especially during the mid-term elections.
This weekend’s kind of a toss-up. If we get a chance, we’ll try to get out to the Legion to see you guys Saturday. Might even try to get to Folk’s Halloween party on Saturday too. If you get home Friday, give me a call. Got a copy of “Thank You For Smoking” as well as “Network”.
Ciao for niao
j