Chimi Chaunga Cheesy Burrito-
Hope all is well at the north compound. It’s nice to have most of that staining done (if you need help with the rest of the fascia, let me know). Anyway, it was a great weekend to be at the lakes. It’s a shame I don’t make myself go more often. Oh well, if you’re ready, it’s time for more run on sentences, fourth grade grammer, and Sam’s Club punctuation.
Before we get started, a point of clarification from last week’s CL- peyote. Mea Culpa.
As far as this week goes, minus thirteen and a half. So close. The weather was perfect. Both doors were open, and it was as if the Crabs were making a break for it. Like they could smell the sea. When I got there, the parking lot looked promising, but inside the crowd was small. Twenty Crabs started and sixteen won. One of the four Na Na Hey Heys was Super Folkie. And I do mean was, as the current occupant is, by the time you read this, the former occupant. As I said, small crowd, but they carried it pretty well. Facial Shot had three to my left. Carl, Holly, and Brenda (freshly back from Joisey) were on the west side of race row (along with the racerless seat. But you’re not dead, just at the lakes). Matt had the northeast side and Rob joined him shortly after we started. Dave was at the bar and Andrea (she had hard-boiled eggs) had a table full of people at the jukebox (but they were only going to stay for trivia).
Back to the minus thirteen and a half. Did you know Terry Bradshaw had a brother that played in the NFL? Well, we were zipping along about ten after nine, and ESPN was hyping the Sunday night game with Peyton and Eli and they flash up this graphic about brothers who played in the NFL at the same time. Craig Bradshaw caught Sonny’s eye and he made a comment and all of the sudden, it was thirteen after. The finals take at least three minutes, and the Crabs ran fast, but we still missed the minus fifteen. We did, however, start three minutes late, so technically it was a sub-seventy-five minute show, just not a minus fifteen. Kind of like a Tiger Slam.
Football was the theme tonight. Maria Sharapova had on that black dress again. Steve was absent, Rick was behind the bar, Nelia was in the kitchen, Rhonda was serving us all, and me, well I was just staying out of the way. Here’s what happened-
Football Crab Racing
Trivia Answers
1) Kilimanjaro- Playing Cards
2) Capulet- Meat
3) Jack knife- T-Shirt
4) Blue Whale- Meat
5) Geese- Pen
National Anthem (fourth verse)
Flagholder- Holly- #13 Sometimes I Wake Up Horny and Sometimes I Just Let Him Sleep (No. Thank You!)
Intro:
Preliminaries
First Half:
1) Winner- 3 Vaginaterian- Dave- Keychain
2) Winner- 61 Four Inches of Dangling Fury- Rob- Lanyard (Last week’s undefeated champion)
3) Winner- 24 Carol Shows Tiger the Peanut Butter Trick- Lost Brady Episode Racing- Pen
4) Winner- 2 Me So Horny- Dr Carl- Keychain
5) Winner- 95 Damnit Jim- Brenda- Crackers
6) Winner- 13 Sometimes I Wake Up Horny…- Holly- Keychain?
7) GWinner- 30 Auggie- Brenda- Pen
8) Winner- 71 Little F*cker- Facial Shot Racing- Lanyard (I believe asses were beaten again)
Halftime
(Andrea and her table full of guests are still here)
Second Half:
9) Winner- 89 Save a Horse, Ride a Cowgirl- Holly- Crackers
10) Winner- 90 All Fired Up- Matt- Flashing Button
11) Winner- 51 (this Crab won race eleven last week) F*ck That Bitch- Dave- Green Flashing Button
12) Winner- 26 Go Dammit Go- FS- Pen
13) Winner- 96 You Know You’re Good When You Have To Wash Your Hair- Folkies Fokkers- Lanyard
14) Winner- 4 Shut The F*ck Up- FS- Pen
15) Winner- 75 Is That My Nuts That Smell Like That- Matt- Pen
16) Winner- 17 Thanx. Now Wipe That Shit Off Your Face And Get Me A Beer- Another Carl- Flashing Button
Goodbye Losers:
All Disco Semifinals:
1) Winner- 96 You Know You’re Good…- FF
2) Winner- 61 Four Inches, Dangling, Fury- Rob
3) Winner- 51 (this Crab won semifinal three last week) F That B- Dave
4) Winner- 2 Me So Horny- Dr Carl
Finals:
Time: Minus thirteen and a half
(Andrea and her guests are still here, but Andrea doesn’t wish to speak of it)
Fourth Place- HW&AWD – 51 (this Crab finished third last week) FTB- Dave
Third Place- T-Shirt- 61 (the Champ goes down) Four Inches…- Rob
Second Place- $20- 96 You Know You’re Good…- Folkies Fokkers
First Place- $30- 2 Me So Horny- Dr Carl
Sorry this took a while to get out.
Gonna try to get to the lakes at least a couple more times before we close it up (mid-October I believe). Hard to say when though. If I get done at Jill’s in time tomorrow I’ll try to get out to Stone’s to hear you guys play. If I don’t see you there, I’ll see you at Sarah’s thing.
If it’s Wednesday, it’s wacing.
j